It's been a nice Christmas week. Christmas eve we went out for Chinese. Today we opened presents and went to a movie. I'm keeping in touch with my Jewish side, clearly. Anyway, we popped by Queeny Park after the movie to let Liv play in her favorite playground, then scooted by my old high school. Haven't been there since my ex-bf from that time dragged me there during a break during college. It appears not to have changed one iota. Kind of nice.
Anyway, the shots above are from Christmas Eve as well as Christmas. And there's one gratuitous food porn shot. The turnovers turned out really well and I thought they needed to be memorialized publicly.
Well, I'm out. Wednesday 6:30 a.m. I showed up and demanded a mani-pedi and a facial. I got a hysterectomy instead, but at least the nurses thought it was funny. I certainly could've used the mani-pedi, though... they should multi-purpose the surgery unit, methinks. Thursday, I was out by noon.
So, the operation itself took longer than they'd planned. Apparently I'm not the correct size. Don't ask.
I also learned that when doing a hysterectomy on a patient, they turn her UPSIDE DOWN. Thus, after four hours in surgery, my face and hands were swollen. Gee. Wonder why?
Also, it turns out I'm allergic to dillaudid. It's a shame because, as a nurse friend of mine tells me, "it's good stuff." However, when given same, I do my imitation of a rash-y Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Not so good.
My surgeon was talented AND had lots and lots of company in the surgery suite. I counted three surgeons, a med student, a resident, a fellow, two anesthesiologists and several nurses. (No, I wasn't awake; these are the folks that introduced themselves to me.) I'm told being in good shape helped with my miraculously quick recovery. See? There's a reason I make my classes do a gazillion sit-ups!
So now I'm home.
I can't wear pants or, really, anything with a waistband. So unless I'm willing to wear a dress and go "commando," I am stuck at home. My belly is swelled out to here and is hard as a rock. You'd think I was pregnant, which is kind of ironic under the circumstances.
Ordinarily I loathe pain meds, but I make an exception in the case of abdominal surgery. Having one's gut twisted up is really better resolved while asleep. Moving around does nobody any good.
And that thing about filling your body cavity with CO2 is no joke. Initially the gas settled around my hips. I literally could not feel the bones of my hips-- it was like I had a big, fleshy balloon around them. Now some of the gas has migrated to the traditional spot post-laproscopy: my shoulders. Ow.
El F and I have settled in to watch a lot of DVDs and hang out. He took several days off to watch over me. And a lot of the moms of Liv's friends have invited her over for afternoons or sleepovers to give us a break. May those people reap lavish rewards for their good deeds; I could not have survived without them.
El F's task will become much harder when I start to feel better. I'm on full "pelvic rest" for most purposes for four weeks. Some tasks go six weeks. Anyway, as you probably know, I'm not a sedentary soul and pelvic rest involves doing almost nothing I like to do. The least invasive of these restrictions is that I can't lift anything over ten pounds. Folks, my DOG weighs more than 10 pounds. I am so hosed.
Anyway, I've promised to be good. And I will try. But it is not going to be easy once I start to feel better. So if you see me lifting something, kindly knock it out of my hands. (Unless it's a living creature. Then you have permission to speak sharply to me.)
Right now, my primary complaint is that, as inflated as my belly is, it's hard to get a lung full of air. And I'm bored by sitting around. Still, it's much better than it might've been, no? Once again, I'm incredibly lucky.
Slight miscalculation: when insurance okay'd the hysterectomy in addition to an oophorectomy, what nobody told me is that even a laproscopic hysterectomy is still an inpatient procedure.
In fact they were talking at my pre-op today that I might be "in" for 2 or 3 nights, which puts me inside awfully close to my birthday. In fact I may only get home in time for the natal day.
In other news, Liv and I just decorated the Xmas tree. Miss Thing actually hung most of the ornaments. (She's tucking her very cold feet under my shirt as I'm here on the couch, trying to blog. Did I mention they were very very cold feet?) Anyway, she's getting to be such a big girl!
December 17th is the day, kids. Insurance has kindly agreed to pay to gut me, so I shall be taking them up on it.
The surgery should be quick and might result in an overnight stay, max. If I end up staying inpatient multiple nights, heads will roll. They'd be wise to keep me sedated for several months.
I've taken in a bunch of new cases, necessitating the purchase of letterhead and the stocking up on ink cartridges. Good lord, I'm actually back in business. How 'bout that?
I'll be teaching class until the end of the session on the 14th and resuming when the Y resumes classes on January 5. Further, I'm planning Livi's kindergarten holiday party on the 19th and, while I don't plan to be real perky, by gawd I'm going to be there, taking pictures!
So. They tell me the scars won't be significantly worse, when healed, than my healed-up pierced navel. Makes me no nevermind. Scar me up, but take that cancer-susceptible stuff the heck out of me, you hear?
It looks like surgery is a go: I shall have my girlie bits out before year's end. The way I understand it is they'll make some small abdominal incisions and shop vacc all the parts out.
Okay, maybe that's an over-simplification.
Anyhow, I am disappointed to hear that I might have to spend the night in the hospital. You all know how I relished my last stay.
But I assure you I am quite happy with this decision. I am going to do everything I can to keep this cancer beastie at bay. If it gets me, it gets me. At least I won't wonder about things I failed to do and whether they'd have changed the outcome.
I find this thought rather cheery. I think you should, too.
Hegemony, n. (slightly edited) OR: Thus Spake Chairman Mom
Hegemony (pronounced həˈjemənē or ˈhejəˌmōnē) (Greek: ἡγεμονία hēgemonía) 1. the Dominance Hierarchy of one group over other groups, with or without the [Argumentum ad baculum]threat of force; 2. Motherhood