Hegemom '08

Holiday pix

2009-01-02T07:54:00.007-06:00

Winter break has been a lot of fun for Liv and me! We've hung out and done some "girl bonding stuff." Also she's found she LOVES that new V-smile hand held we bought her for Christmas. Just goes to show she's Fred's daughter. Maybe it's genetic? (har de har har.)

Anyway, my tiny tot likes to turn over the couch cushions, grab a pillow which hasn't made it upstairs yet from post-surgery, and make herself a nest for playing V-smile. It's adorable!

And then, a couple days ago, we got all dolled up and went to the Art Museum. It was Liv's first trip and she LOVED it. (I thought she would.) Think of all the fancy gowns in the portraits! And then all the medieval armor she loved because of the heroic princes and princesses in her movies.

She zipped around amongst display cases, gasping and pointing to the vast amusement of the other patrons. "Mama! Look at this!!" Happily, I got to show her some of the pieces that were my favorites when I was her age. Didn't mean much to her since she had her own favs, but it did my heart a world of good and gave me some moments I'll remember for the rest of my life.

The mummies? Not so much. She really wanted to see them. But then, as it turns out, she's watched too much Scooby Doo and became suspicious they'd reanimate and chase her around the museum. Unfortunately, she didn't really get alarmed until we got a good look at them, so mama here blythely took a photo of her with a sarcophagus. The look on her face probably should have clued me in, huh?

Nonetheless, we ate at Puck's, shopped at the Museum shop and had a grand old time. Best of all? She wants to go back! I think I might've died and gone to heaven.

More gratuitous food pics and holiday shots

2008-12-25T22:08:00.002-06:00

That's Amy and Jacob in the middle photo there. Amy's one of my mom buddies and Jake's Livi's main squeeze, kindergarten-wise. Ain't he a doll?

Christmas week

2008-12-25T22:02:00.003-06:00

It's been a nice Christmas week. Christmas eve we went out for Chinese. Today we opened presents and went to a movie. I'm keeping in touch with my Jewish side, clearly. Anyway, we popped by Queeny Park after the movie to let Liv play in her favorite playground, then scooted by my old high school. Haven't been there since my ex-bf from that time dragged me there during a break during college. It appears not to have changed one iota. Kind of nice.

Anyway, the shots above are from Christmas Eve as well as Christmas. And there's one gratuitous food porn shot. The turnovers turned out really well and I thought they needed to be memorialized publicly.

I'm free!

2008-12-19T22:00:00.009-06:00

Well, I'm out. Wednesday 6:30 a.m. I showed up and demanded a mani-pedi and a facial. I got a hysterectomy instead, but at least the nurses thought it was funny. I certainly could've used the mani-pedi, though... they should multi-purpose the surgery unit, methinks. Thursday, I was out by noon.

So, the operation itself took longer than they'd planned. Apparently I'm not the correct size. Don't ask.

I also learned that when doing a hysterectomy on a patient, they turn her UPSIDE DOWN. Thus, after four hours in surgery, my face and hands were swollen. Gee. Wonder why?

Also, it turns out I'm allergic to dillaudid. It's a shame because, as a nurse friend of mine tells me, "it's good stuff." However, when given same, I do my imitation of a rash-y Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Not so good.

My surgeon was talented AND had lots and lots of company in the surgery suite. I counted three surgeons, a med student, a resident, a fellow, two anesthesiologists and several nurses. (No, I wasn't awake; these are the folks that introduced themselves to me.) I'm told being in good shape helped with my miraculously quick recovery. See? There's a reason I make my classes do a gazillion sit-ups!

So now I'm home.

I can't wear pants or, really, anything with a waistband. So unless I'm willing to wear a dress and go "commando," I am stuck at home. My belly is swelled out to here and is hard as a rock. You'd think I was pregnant, which is kind of ironic under the circumstances.

Ordinarily I loathe pain meds, but I make an exception in the case of abdominal surgery. Having one's gut twisted up is really better resolved while asleep. Moving around does nobody any good.

And that thing about filling your body cavity with CO2 is no joke. Initially the gas settled around my hips. I literally could not feel the bones of my hips-- it was like I had a big, fleshy balloon around them. Now some of the gas has migrated to the traditional spot post-laproscopy: my shoulders. Ow.

El F and I have settled in to watch a lot of DVDs and hang out. He took several days off to watch over me. And a lot of the moms of Liv's friends have invited her over for afternoons or sleepovers to give us a break. May those people reap lavish rewards for their good deeds; I could not have survived without them.

El F's task will become much harder when I start to feel better. I'm on full "pelvic rest" for most purposes for four weeks. Some tasks go six weeks. Anyway, as you probably know, I'm not a sedentary soul and pelvic rest involves doing almost nothing I like to do. The least invasive of these restrictions is that I can't lift anything over ten pounds. Folks, my DOG weighs more than 10 pounds. I am so hosed.

Anyway, I've promised to be good. And I will try. But it is not going to be easy once I start to feel better. So if you see me lifting something, kindly knock it out of my hands. (Unless it's a living creature. Then you have permission to speak sharply to me.)

Right now, my primary complaint is that, as inflated as my belly is, it's hard to get a lung full of air. And I'm bored by sitting around. Still, it's much better than it might've been, no? Once again, I'm incredibly lucky.

Whoops

2008-12-10T17:29:00.003-06:00

Slight miscalculation: when insurance okay'd the hysterectomy in addition to an oophorectomy, what nobody told me is that even a laproscopic hysterectomy is still an inpatient procedure.

Oh bother.

In fact they were talking at my pre-op today that I might be "in" for 2 or 3 nights, which puts me inside awfully close to my birthday. In fact I may only get home in time for the natal day.

Crap.

In other news, Liv and I just decorated the Xmas tree. Miss Thing actually hung most of the ornaments. (She's tucking her very cold feet under my shirt as I'm here on the couch, trying to blog. Did I mention they were very very cold feet?) Anyway, she's getting to be such a big girl!

Operation: Laproscopic Shop Vacc is a go

2008-12-06T17:22:00.002-06:00

December 17th is the day, kids. Insurance has kindly agreed to pay to gut me, so I shall be taking them up on it.

The surgery should be quick and might result in an overnight stay, max. If I end up staying inpatient multiple nights, heads will roll. They'd be wise to keep me sedated for several months.

I've taken in a bunch of new cases, necessitating the purchase of letterhead and the stocking up on ink cartridges. Good lord, I'm actually back in business. How 'bout that?

I'll be teaching class until the end of the session on the 14th and resuming when the Y resumes classes on January 5. Further, I'm planning Livi's kindergarten holiday party on the 19th and, while I don't plan to be real perky, by gawd I'm going to be there, taking pictures!

So. They tell me the scars won't be significantly worse, when healed, than my healed-up pierced navel. Makes me no nevermind. Scar me up, but take that cancer-susceptible stuff the heck out of me, you hear?

Life is good

2008-12-01T21:33:00.004-06:00

It looks like surgery is a go: I shall have my girlie bits out before year's end. The way I understand it is they'll make some small abdominal incisions and shop vacc all the parts out.

Okay, maybe that's an over-simplification.

Anyhow, I am disappointed to hear that I might have to spend the night in the hospital. You all know how I relished my last stay.

But I assure you I am quite happy with this decision. I am going to do everything I can to keep this cancer beastie at bay. If it gets me, it gets me. At least I won't wonder about things I failed to do and whether they'd have changed the outcome.

I find this thought rather cheery. I think you should, too.

A tragic bean pie-related injury

2008-11-30T18:49:00.006-06:00

Yes, the rumors are true: navy bean pie can be hazardous to your health.

This morning, having awoken before the family, I made a pot of coffee and settled down with a book to read in blessed silence. Hmmm....what's missing? Ah, yes. That last piece of navy bean pie from Thanksgiving at the Kaegis. I thought I'd just put that on a plate and my morning would be perfect.

That was not to be.

The pretty ceramic pie plate had a hairline crack which, when I applied pressure to get the last piece of pie out, burst into pieces, one of which ate part of my left thumb.

I put my coffee in a travel mug, the pie on a plate and my thumb in a towel and headed for the hospital. It was only 2 hours, but I barely got any reading done since there's not much business in the ER on a Sunday morning early.

In other news, my own El F has come to the grudging conclusion that my advanced water class is, in point of fact, hard. I subbed on Saturday and he took the class. He is walking with some difficulty today. I try to seem sympathetic, but he insists I don't look sorry!

Hegemom de Sade

2008-11-29T11:31:00.003-06:00

Is it twisted that I love overhearing stuff my classes say about me?

Today I heard one of the guys say, "wow, [she's] strong" and the other agree, "very strong."

Last week, one of the longtime students told another that I was "the meanest teacher." The response was that I was the meanest right after Cindy (Cindy being the one who induced major leg cramps in me when I took her class a year ago.)

Never mind that I have to ice my knees when I get home from class-- it's so worth it!

What's new

2008-11-28T19:09:00.008-06:00

Let's see...

Thanksgiving was fabulous. We joined the family of an old, dear friend of mine and had an absolute blast. Brother Brad plunked himself down on a stool in front of me and played guitar until I got a bit misty. Probably the bourbon aided in that endeavor, but it was a wonderful evening. His wife, Ave, is adorable.

Seeing the Kaegi family was wonderful. I used to love going to their house when I was a kid. It was always such a cheerful place to be. Except, of course, when Marlene threatened to rip the boys' lips off! hah! I didn't doubt for one second that tiny thing could beat down her enormous boys if she put her mind to it, either.

I got my home diva on: made a bean pie (it's a Southern thing), pumpkin soup and green salad with pecans and cranberries. This is what happens when I'm left with a day to myself to cook and no directives-- I'll just cook until I feel like stopping.

In other news: Liv's kindergarten class won the canned food drive competition thanks, in part, to my totally inappropriately competitive nature. I sent around an email to the other parents urging them to kick the 5th graders' butts, in essence.

Anyway, my image has now been broadcast on Fox news; I may never live down the shame! The good news is that the local food bank has a lot to feed the people in their care, and that's what is important. That, and winning the right to hit the principal with a pie.

Should be having surgery within a few weeks to remove my ovaries. Big fun. I'm not planning on missing many of my classes so this recovery thing better go quick. My classes will be delighted if I can't make them do my usual abdominal routine, though.

Friday slideshow

2008-11-15T08:42:00.002-06:00

Usually I don't go in for the gimmicky slide shows, but this was so perfect for the little divas, I had to:

Friday - meh.

2008-11-14T20:49:00.004-06:00

I had the daughter of an old friend over for a playdate today. C is a year younger than Liv and they're fast friends. It's so odd that someone who knew me in the wilder days of my 20's now lives practically across the street and we're raising our kids together. Same bus stop even.

I baked cupcakes for the kids and gave them tons of stuff to decorate. Then they put on makeup and costumes and had a fashion show. Turned out to be a blast. I'll post photos.

I got kudos from the boss about my abdominals class: apparently she's hearing a lot of good things from my class. It's kinda great.

Otherwise, not much to report. My old friend (see tiff) is still pissed with me (I'm quite disillusioned-- remind me never to put anyone on a pedestal ever again) and my knee is still wicked sore. I have yet to track down an orthopod. I also have yet to determine whether surgery is in my immediate future and I'm still trying to unravel my insurance paperwork.

Also, Liv's really petitioning hard for a sister. Given the reason that we can't adopt, it's really tough on El Freddo and me. And Liv just doesn't understand.

So, I say again: Meh.

Stupid, annoying day

2008-11-12T19:54:00.002-06:00

This has been a craptacular day. I spent a significant portion of it talking to doctors about possibly going under the knife again. Maybe. I'm still having nightmares from having gone to the breast cancer symposium and now I'm talking about further surgery. Bleh.

My knees hurt, my house is a disaster, I had yet another tiff with the only friend I ever have tiffs with, I was horrified at the state of Liv's room (which we just cleaned-- why, why do they hoard stuff under their beds?), my freaking insurance companied denied my claim for a pap smear (hello?), and I got a nasty letter from a medical provider about $7 I neglected to pay them.

Craptastic.

Breast Cancer Symposium

2008-11-09T09:08:00.010-06:00

My survivors' group, YWBCP, had its annual symposium yesterday-- truly a mixed blessing. Powerful tool for learning, wonderful to commune with my warrior sisters, absolutely terrifying to hear the tales of recurrence and metastasis and to realize the many things that I should be doing to increase my own chance of survival.

The fact that I am becoming extremely fit is a great advantage, true. But limiting alcohol consumption is hugely important. And, frighteningly, NO level of consumption of polyunsaturated fats is safe for a survivor. None.

There are issues as to soy and as to processed products-- white sugar and white flour should be no-nos. Insulin spikes (after, say, Halloween candy) are now thought to be extremely dangerous for survivors. And yet, have you ever tried to purchase a diet of whole wheat products with no white sugar and organic fruits and vegetables? There's a reason "Whole Foods" is often called "Whole Paycheck." So the chances of my survival hinge, at least partially, on my income. Sickening.

Nonetheless, it is a powerful thing to be with my sisters. And I am grateful to only be wearing the pink scarf of a one-year survivor, as opposed to the white scarf of a woman with metastasis.

Above are a few photos I took of Beth and Marsha, two of my favorites. Beth is the one in single photo with me. She's got the same amount of hair I had the last time I saw her: she had "hair envy" back then. We're hoping to get picked for the trout fishing retreat together.

Beth and I are really bonded in many ways, not least of which is our shared mania about the gym. Survivors sometimes fixate of some aspect of post-treatment life. We have both grasped fitness as something we can control about our bodies. There are, as I'm sure you understand, so many things which we cannot control about our bodies and their propensity to become cancer-ridden again. But fitness? that we can control. So we are warriors in the gym, hoping to stave off the weakness of our bodies with respect to cancer.

The trout fishing retreat is just another of the "goodies" we survivors often get. Recently we got a fistful of concert tickets. (Sadly it was Neil Diamond, but I guess I could've heard "Sweet Caroline" live, so that's something.) But they're always doing something nice for us, particularly last month, which was BC month.

Anyway, everyone's amused by my abruptly blonde head. I told them: "I've been bald; what do I have to be afraid of?" Perhaps unnecessary to say, but they all "got" that.

So now I plan to eat a little better and go back to forgetting, as much as possible, that my life expectancy is different from last year. In my future? More genetic testing, more check-ups and possibly the removal of all my internal girlie bits. With a family history like mine, I would probably take them out, myself, if I could. But stay tuned. The good news? I understand my stuff can be taken out laproscopically, so less time out off from teaching and the gym. Yippee.

Oh and I must mention that Christy is on the 3-Day Komen walk next week. Think the good thought for her, would you?

Election, cartouche, and school pix

2008-11-07T13:52:00.003-06:00

Worked as "security" for Liv's grade school which was on lock down since it was a polling place. Yep, orange vests and walkie talkies. I kid you not.

Darling Miss Jane sent me a cartouche necklace from her trip to Egypt. Very cool.

And here is the adorable Miss Liv's school picture.

Halloween, the actual evening

2008-10-31T22:13:00.002-05:00

Well, it had an ominous beginning: Liv fell on the way to the first house and was off her feed for the next hour, which included all the house-to-house. But THEN we got to the party. The party was where Liv had a most righteous evening and fine time was had by all.

In the photos you'll see the cake I made for the party and covered with fondant. (El F says it tastes like...um...some bodily location the flavor with which one would not ordinarily be familiar.) However, it was very popular with the kiddos because it was a jack'o'lantern. Yep, that's me-- a crowd-pleaser.

Anyway, despite my exhaustion and being completely SICK of Halloween by the time the actual holiday came around (see my FB page), it was terrific.

Kickin' it K'wood style

2008-10-31T07:26:00.001-05:00

And following the kindergarten bash, there was trick or treating in downtown Kirkwood. All the shop owners sat outside their stores while trick or treaters came by for treats.

Afterward, a local band for children, the Babaloos, played in the plaza. Big fun!

Kickin' it kindergarten-style

2008-10-31T07:07:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was the kindergarten Halloween bash:

Pumps of my dreams

2008-10-26T21:48:00.003-05:00

When L-Mac and I went shopping (instead of to see Clinton), we spotted this GORGEOUS pair of pumps at Nordstrom. These with a little black dress for the weddings? (Okay, okay, maybe I have to buy them in black....maybe.)
Aren't they beautiful?

Although I have to say, El F spotted an even sexier pair in the shoe department today when I was showing him these-- the boy apparently knows what he likes on me. The back was closed and the heel higher. The website just didn't have a photo. In any event, I'm viewing the upcoming nuptials with joy for many reasons, several of them sartorial.

Oh and hosted a lovely impromptu dinner tonight-- Mel and her little girl came over for dinner: pizza and lots of wine. (Lemonaid for the girls)

Big fun.

K'wood Saturday

2008-10-25T17:06:00.003-05:00

A walk on Grant's Trail and a trip to the Farmers' Market. (Note: I am taking my turn carrying the scooter Liv swore she wanted to ride on the trail. *sigh*)

Inventory

2008-10-25T11:47:00.003-05:00

So. I took inventory this morning. Most women do this once in a while: I tried on a bunch of my old formalwear.

One out of two New Year's Eve little back dresses fit. The one that doesn't, I am probably not allowed to wear. It's short, short, short black velvet, low back, with a halter top. Very elegant, believe it or not. But probably not allowed on anyone in their 40s, no matter what.

The other one is another really classic little black dress-- sleeveless, form-fitting (but not too form-fitting) with a little tiny black ribbon under the bust. Not too short, but definitely short. Think I could get away with this one, although another few pounds gone would be better first.

One out of two (for lack of a better term) ball gowns fits. Strangely, both are silver. One is strapless-- that doesn't fit. (But why would I buy a strapless? Crazy.) And the other -- sleeveless with a scoop neck-- does. Funny thing? I bought the second one for a formal wedding less than 10 years ago and now I think it's too dowdy to wear. Strange.

Anyway, the moral of the story is, despite the low pay, teaching at the Y has some really GREAT benefits. The bad thing? I need to store or get rid of a LOT of clothes.

What a long strange week it's been (with apologies to the Grateful Dead)

2008-10-23T21:33:00.003-05:00

It's been a long, strange week. My daughter is growing in understanding every day while I watch, stunned. It's cliche, I know. But I had no idea it would happen this fast.

And she's a Daisy scout now. And she has a best friend. And a little guy with a crush on her, and she on him.

Also, I'm physically exhausted. My dear Liv has taken to waking me at 2 am to crawl into bed. I enjoy holding her very much. It's a great feeling right up until the alarm rings at 0600 and it's time to start another day running.

I've taught a ton of classes, did a ton of training (for work) and actually hurt my own abdominals while teaching abs class today. That almost never happens. I guess my students will not be thinking fondly of me tomorrow when they wake up.

There's a movement afoot to make me move from water to land classes (sounds like evolution, yes?)-- just weight routines, not aerobics. Probably too late for this session, but the idea is appealing. With my teaching schedule and other comitments, I don't get much time in the weight room anymore. This might fix that.

In other news, I heard from someone I used to know well a long time ago-- just popped up out of the blue, thanks to electronic networking. There's nothing like it to make you remember who you were so long ago. I was young and so much hadn't happened to me yet. It's lovely to think back to those happy, halcyon times.

There was a whole group of us-- completely inseparable. We roamed like a pack. I'll never forget my roommate's look of terror the first time he got a tattoo (Trader Bob's in the City). Poor SOB. We all laughed so hard and he got so mad. Beer can towers in my apartment. Playing three man. Seeing our favorite bands. Pale Divine's farewell concert. We never got to a bar before 11 pm at the earliest. Nothing good happened before then, anyway. We played cards and talked trash (and I changed clothes about a million times) until it was time to head out. The boys placed over/under bets on my wardrobe changes for the evening, I believe.

And then there were a thousand misdeeds that we somehow got away with. It seemed all so daring and romantic back then. We were young, good-looking (well they sure and the hell were spectacularly so; maybe I was) and absolutely fearless.

Okay, if I burst into any song from "The Way We Were," somebody slap me. But they were very good times and, now that I've heard from the one most dear to me, I think I can be forgiven a little nostalgia and a little regret for letting that all float away somehow.

Good memories. A little sad.

Hair today....you know the rest

2008-10-19T20:58:00.003-05:00

Well, it's showing no signs of becoming less curly, so we're staying with the Mary Martin in Peter Pan pixie do. Got yet another haircut today. Dang, this curly stuff grows fast.

In other news, I plan to spend the day cowering under my bed until Darth Cheney leaves the greater STL area tomorrow.

Trixie Triumphant

2008-10-14T20:04:00.005-05:00

Finally, finally, finally-- at looong last I put together a routine that kicked the butt of my advanced aerobics class. Even the veterans came up to me after class and told me how good it was.

I'm telling you, I feel tremendously accomplished. Overjoyed. Ecstatic.

I hope I can walk tomorrow.

Why don't people talk about DILFs?

2008-10-11T22:56:00.003-05:00

Okay, y'all know about MILFs, right? Rude term, yadda yadda.

Well, El F was teasing me a little this morning while running errands about becoming a MILF thanks to all the working out. (I told him I'd best have been a MILF to him prior to the workouts...)

But anyway. It occurred to me that there's all this talk about MILFs and no one talks about the delectable suburban dads that surface, every so often, around town. El F says that's because only GUYS really think like that.

Oh, really?

Well, if I could just draft the appropriate release forms, I might just have to start a website. Probably cause some idle speculation around the PTO, though...

Sucktacular Saturday

2008-10-11T21:04:00.004-05:00

Well, as grand as Friday was, Saturday was pretty sucktastic.

We had two parties to go to-- one at the Magic House for one of Liv's kindergarten classmates, and one with some friends of mine who work, like me, part-time at the Y. She teaches on the side-- one of her classes is at the same time as one I teach. We play off each other very well. They are both hysterically amusing and their kid is both awesome and our babysitter. Anyway, suffice it to say I was really looking forward to Joe and Julie's party, particularly since we are somewhat starved for adult-friendly outings.

Then, Liv proved incontrovertibly that she is, in fact, a five year old.

She completely melted down at the birthday party. Wouldn't play, wouldn't talk, wouldn't eat. Couldn't be convinced to behave in any way close to civilized. She pouted. She stuck her hands in the cupcakes. She glared. AND, of course, I could not take her home early because I'd promised to drop a neighbor kid off on the way home.

So, yes. When we got home, Little Miss Meltdown went right to sleep and we missed the party. Sometimes being a grown-up just sucks.

A lazy Kirkwood Friday morning

2008-10-10T17:48:00.003-05:00

This morning, in keeping with the tradition of hitting a coffee house on the mornings El Freddo is off work, we headed out WITHOUT our usual glut of newspapers. (Unlike Governor Palin, I can tell you we usually bring the NYT and the Post-D.) I'm on another news embargo. Can't stand to hear another syllable about either the election or the economy.

But I digress.

So some coffee and breakfast later (muffins for El F, bagel with sun dried schmear for me), we wandered out into the most beautiful autumnal morning. Crisp, clear weather-- not a cloud in the sky.

We meandered down to the Farmers' Market which just happens to be across the street from the church in which we were married. We sampled cider. Checked out prospective pumpkins. Looked in a bunch of oddball stores we like.

In short, we spent the morning doing not very much. Together.

It was nice.

Lineament is a good thing

2008-10-07T22:22:00.003-05:00

Taught third class in three days today and am supposed to be taking another tomorrow morning, if not asked to sub instead. At present I'm bathed in lineament.

Question: why are all the women who have been taking this class for 20+ years not thin? I'm losing inches like it's going out of style and I've only been teaching for a few months. These are the same women, mind you, who complain that my class isn't aerobically strenuous enough. (They don't complain about the weight-bearing toning exercises and abdominal workout, mind you...all I hear during that portion is groans-- bwaa haa haaaaa!) Of course some women complain it's too hard, but that's beside the point.

Why aren't these women thin??

News roundup, part 2

2008-10-06T19:19:00.003-05:00

So. I was supposed to sub for water aerobics at 9, when my buddy Melissa asked me to sub for her at 10:30. Result? Teaching two aerobics classes in three hours. I'm pooped and my pecs hurt. Going to bed.

********

New Liv vocabulary: Shaw's Arboretum where one can find lovely Mechanical Gardens.

News roundup

2008-10-05T16:20:00.003-05:00

Well, crap.

I've not blogged in a while and I don't even know what to tell you. Lots of stuff going on.

Went out with Tony and Tracy to the Cards game last week-- got to see My Boys win for a change. (and happily, the Cubbies got wiped out of the playoffs this weekend-- hooray!) The game was great and the seats were behind 3rd. Fortunately the fly outs were mostly low, although one scared me pretty good-- of course that was the moment I hadn't been paying attention.

This weekend we were supposed to hang out at Shaw's Arboretum with Lisa, James and kids but it turns out there was Best of St. Louis going on-- $10 pp at the door. We decided in favor of a less expensive, but no less amusing for the kids, park nearby.

Still teaching water aerobics and abdominals. Still volunteering for every blessed thing at Liv's school, including herding voters on election day. (Yep, the school is a polling place.) Keeps me out of the pool halls.

Chemo perm for Jeffe, the beloved

2008-09-26T21:38:00.004-05:00

Dearest El Jeffe, I have neglected you lo this many weeks; I forgot to mention that I have CURLY HAIR now.

Now, I think it might be my natural color/s. Gawd knows what THAT color used to be! But anyway, it's all curly and, after a period of shock, I'm begininng to sort of maybe like it. But it IS an adjustment!

I mean really! What product to use? Do I need to change brushes? hairspray? hello?? Hair is urgent business. Well, now that I have some, anyway! But, thanks to my new hairdresser (my oncologist) it is thicker and softer. A whole different texture. Tough way to go for a new hairdo, though.

Oh, yeah, and...

2008-09-26T21:05:00.003-05:00

Oh, right. Forgot to mention. That was the summer that, after all the clubs the night before, I'd get up bright and early (verrrry early), get on the Metro, and queue up to get into House Ways and Means or Senate Finance Committee hearings. (I took notes.)

I understand I've been seen on CSPAN nodding off.

Personal archeology

2008-09-26T20:48:00.005-05:00

While cleaning out boxes in the garage, I found a datebook from when I was in college. It covered the second summer while I was interning in D.C. also. Big fun!

Browsing through, I found that I spent a lot of time at a bar called Cagney's in Dupont Circle. I googled it. It came up under "Clubs of the 80s:"

Cagney's Washington Dc
Early 80's. Right off Dupont Circle, this club's line would stretch blocks. The music was 80's amazing (The The, The Cure, New Order, etc.) Great scene too. Lots of cool people. One big party night after night.

Here's another club I went to. I think it was by Ford's theater:

9:30 Club Washington DC
80s. OMG! Hands down the best club I ever went to. It was at 930 F St. It was an apartment transformed into a club. You sat on wooden boxes covered with carpet. Some of them were built up like bleachers, but you couldn't move them. When you walked through the club you could visualize where a living room was, a bedroom etc. It was small in there. They had TVs mounted all over the place and showed "videos" which could be old movies to actual videos set to music. The basement was where the restrooms were and the club store. I bought a "Reagan Hates Me" shirt there. The cover was about $3. I saw The March Violets there. I also saw Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds there. A friend who lives in DC says that there is a 9:30 Club which is big and recently Good Charlotte has played there. But I am talking about the club where if you sat at the side window, you could see bums sleeping in the alley and drunks peeing in the alley.

I LOVED this club. It was in the WORST neighborhood and there were the strangest-looking, awe-inspiring club kids there. But the description is accurate: there were boxes piled up everywhere and you just sat on them with your cocktail and watched the video and listened to the FAB-U-LOUS music. I recall sitting on top of a really tall pile of boxes a good 2 feet above the heads of the passers-by, sipping a vodka collins. That was "my" drink that summer. Did you know it glows it black light? Part of its allure.

Apparently I lived on happy hour food. We seem to have eaten a lot of $.10 oysters.

Ah. The good old days.

Awesome day, week, possibly month

2008-09-24T20:42:00.003-05:00

So...today I made a new friend. That in itself should make it a banner day, and it is. But our kids get along great, too-- they're in the same class at kindergarten. We spent the afternoon in the park-- it was a blast. We're talking about taking a Zumba class together!

Then, to top it all off, some friends got their 171 from Homeland Security this afternoon-- one step closer to adoption! I swear I'm almost as excited as they are. Then one of my breast cancer buddies got a CLEAN bill of health!! Wheeee!

Tuesday I did "roadrunners" (laps) at Liv's school and taught power aquacize, tomorrow morning I teach abs class. Saturday? The last home Cardinals game with Tony and Tracy!

Again, my cup runneth over. Wish I'd taken some pictures. I hope to get some last shots of My Boys on Saturday. *sigh*

My daughter is the next Kurt Cobain?

2008-09-17T18:07:00.004-05:00

This is an excerpt from one of El Freddo's emails to a buddy.
Liv has been DYING to play. So we set her up on the mic, Stacey on drums, and me on guitar to play "In Bloom", by Nirvana. I figured I'd save my 'star power' (or whatever it's called in RB) to rescue her when she failed out. Well, it turns out she DIDN'T fail out at all. In fact, when we finished, I had 93%, Stacey had 96%, and Liv, who has probably heard the song less than a dozen times in her life, got 79% with an 8 phrase streak. Stacey dropped out to work on dinner, I did drums and Liv sang it again, and got 83% with a TEN phrase streak. I'm not sure if this says more about my daughter's AWESOME ability, or something about Kurt's vocal talent... fbr

Another class and fav tunes

2008-09-16T21:07:00.003-05:00

Gawd help me, I agreed to teach another class.

This next one is one half-hour of pure, uninterrupted abdominal workout. It's called "Abmazing." Right up my alley. But that means I take a class Monday and Wednesday and teach a class Tuesday night and Thursday morning.

And, yes, Cap'n Canuck, I do have favorite songs on Rock Band. Thanks for asking!! Gimme Shelter (the Stones) and Green Grass and High Tides (Outlaws) are awesome on the Wii. Also Say It Ain't So (Weezer) is, I think, the song on which I broke the drum stick. BIG fun. You'll have to come over and try it out. You'll LOVE it!

I am a rock'n'roll goddess

2008-09-14T21:32:00.002-05:00

Yeah. We bought Rock Band for the Wii. Here's the set list.

I'm the drummer. In fact I may never let anyone else be the drummer. Ever. This is the most fun game in the history of games.

I broke a drum stick on the first song.

(Image courtesy of wikipedia.org)

Hair

2008-09-13T21:34:00.001-05:00

I actually need a haircut. Can you believe it? And, indeed, my hair is getting curly-- thus the haircut. I will need to keep it way short until the curl grows out. Trust me when I tell you I don't look great in curly hair. I have photos from the 80's to prove it. And NO I'm NOT posting them.

More Greentree photos

2008-09-13T15:26:00.004-05:00

I bought a Backstoppers hat which immediately became my absolute favorite. Got an Obama sign and button, and we all stuffed ourselves with carny food. I had a brat and half Liv's burger. El Freddo had a couple hot dogs and we all had roasted corn. Yum!

Tiger face-painting at Greentree Festival

2008-09-13T15:22:00.004-05:00

Every year in early September K'wood has the Greentree festival. This is the first year where Liv was old enough to really enjoy it. And, after living here seven years, this is the first year where I've known a lot of people there. It was awesome.

Anyway, one group of dear, misguided souls decided that they would do face painting for children for free. Yes, without charge. For hot, fidgety, children on a sugar high. Misguided, I'm telling you.

Long story short, Liv did NOT want a small painted flower on her face, she wanted her entire face painted. It turned out to be adorable, but I felt so bad for the lady who had to do it.

It also bears mentioning that this morning, after much cussing and sweating, we got the training wheels on Liv's big girl bike tightened up and properly aligned and went for a mama-assisted ride. She's doing really well. As soon as she can reliably ride without major incident, I'm going to start taking her on the Busch trails near our home. The County converted an old railroad track into a bike trail. The trail is interspersed with playgrounds: utter heaven.

The NEW quintessential STL question

2008-09-13T08:51:00.006-05:00

Those of you who have ever resided in this fair city are doubtless aware that, when meeting other St. Louisans for the first time, the question of high school invariably comes up.

"So..." one of us will ask with a meaningful glint in his/her eye, "where did you go to high school?"

The answer, we think, gives us loads of information about our new acquaintance. Pinpoints them geographically and possibly gives some insight into their character. Or so we, as a culture, believe.

At the PTO meeting this week, someone mentioned that Liv's old preschool is selling the tshirt shown below. To say that El Freddo and I sprinted to the KECC office to buy some gives too much dignity to the term "sprint." I know I, personally, was slavering to purchase at least two-- one for myself and one for Liv. El F elected to forgo the pleasure. But he's posted the joke all over the internet amongst his friends.

Ahhh...the life of a St. Louisan is one sweet, silly in-joke.

Suddenly I see (apologies to KT Tunstall)

2008-09-13T08:33:00.004-05:00

Suddenly I see my daughter differently.

She absorbs everything. Every day she is talking about something with which she was entirely unfamiliar just a week ago. And asking intelligent questions. (This is a definite change, as you who have been around her know. It is a distinct characteristic of pre-schoolers in my experience to ask questions for the sake of hearing themselves talk.) But now that she's in school, that's all changing.

The sweetest question, though, was last night when she asked "why does the moon follow me?"

I thought my heart would melt right out of my chest.

doppelgangland

2008-09-13T08:22:00.004-05:00

We had a spectacular dinner at Massa's with Robert and Julie who, clearly, are clones of our own sweet selves. Julie and I could be, attitudinally-speaking, twins, as could El Freddo and Robert. El F and Robert, actually, could be related as they look so much alike.

A very jolly dinner was had by all, followed by the obligatory and highly scenic stroll to the custard station to sit in the park at twilight and eat ice cream and watch the trains go by.

My life is often as close to heaven as mortal woman could ask these days.

A tasty morsel of geekiness or two

2008-09-11T20:27:00.002-05:00

First off, if you haven't seen the YouTube video about our imminent demise, you should. Note the credits where it lists the background dancers.

Second, I've found a comic that perfectly encapsulates the sort of thing El Freddo and I argue about. If ever there were to be a cataclysmic fight in our house, it would be over something like this:

A day of firsts

2008-09-09T21:37:00.003-05:00

Today was a day of firsts.

1) Liv had her first day of swim team. She is definitely the youngest member of the team.

2) I taught my first power aquacize class today; if the grimaces of the class members are to be believed, it was a tough class. It turns out, by the way, that the Aquatics Director told me my class was in Webster when it's actually in Kirkwood. Apparently it takes 30 minutes to cross Webster in rush hour traffic.

3) El Freddo and I went to our first PTO meeting; I found something else to volunteer for.

I also made donation board for the school book fair this morning while Liv was at school. I feel like such a mom.

The Chlorine Family Rosenblogger

2008-09-08T21:37:00.003-05:00

Not only have I been subbing water aerobics classes for other teachers, but I now have a class of my very own! Yes, I have a HIGH INTENSITY class, too. (Eeesh.) It's called Power Aquacize. It's everything I teach now, just faster and harder. No prob, right?

My class today was giving me crap for turning up the intensity on them in preparation for my debut on Tuesday night with the "Power" class. Bottom line? I'm subbing for bunches of people AND have a class of my own.

As a result, as a preventative measure, my knees are bathed in tiger balm and wrapped in butchered pairs of El Freddo's old tube socks. Dara Torres has her Team Torres masseurs and trainers. Me, I got tiger balm and grubby socks.

Additionally, Liv starts swim team tomorrow at roughly the same time I'm teaching. I'm not sure how they're going to swing that, pool-space wise, but I guess I'll find out when I get there.

Bottom line? Liv and I are going to smell like chlorine A LOT from now on. Consider yourself warned.

Sign language

2008-09-08T20:40:00.003-05:00

We have reinstituted the family dinner in our house-- before I got sick, we all ate at the table together and talked about our day. This generally didn't work while I was in chemo since I had a distinct habit of...well...you know.

Anyway, today Liv was telling us about learning some sign language at school. Fred and I know a few signs so we were messing around with it when Livi decided we needed to play a game.

Okay, she said, close your eyes then see if you can guess what sign I'm making.

El Freddo and I closed our eyes.

Okay, guess! she says.

Can we open our eyes?

No.

How 'bout now?

No. Just guess!

Fortunately, after a few fruitless guesses, El Freddo remembered he'd seen her make the sign for a turtle before and guessed correctly. Yep. Blindfolded guessing games. It's all the rage in the kindergarten set.

This is what $313k will buy you?

2008-09-07T17:37:00.003-05:00

Okay this is not, for the most part, a political blog. And I am partial to the frivolity of the fashion columns. But when the two intersect? Uh-oh.

What the hell is Cindy McCain doing wearing over $300,000 worth of outfit when citizens of this great nation are, by and large, running on empty economically-speaking; and the outfit is just butt-ugly?

Photo and narrative courtesy of CBS news online. The ire and indignation is all my own.

Continuing Ed Sucks

2008-09-05T21:12:00.002-05:00

Hooo-boy. Thank gawd for technology. I spent all day in a CLE today: 7:40 a.m. til 5:20 p.m. So if you got nonsense emails from me today, I was killing time during the boring parts. Also reading blogs, IM'ing, and whatever other electornic diversion I could devise.

I also brought some episodes of The Wire on a flash drive. At least the class was a video replay. No speakers were offended in the taking of this CLE.

Birthday party

2008-08-30T20:35:00.003-05:00

Today was little princess G's birthday party. She is the cutest little doll with the most adorable curls. Liv didn't really warm up until there was some playing of dress-up. THEN she was the mac-daddy of party people. Yep. My little girl, the fashionista. Nope. No pix of that. Sorry. But I do have a pic of El Freddo in a blue party hat; that should be some consolation.

Um...anyone looking for a gently used wife?

2008-08-30T12:24:00.004-05:00

I have been toying around with the idea of getting in good enough shape and taking classes to get credentialed as a trainer recently. El Freddo, perhaps foolhardily, suggested I practice by training him.

I demurred. Surely it would spoil the balance of marital power? Surely it would make it awkward when he didn't want to go to the gym to train?

Nope, quoth he. Give it a shot.

So today was day one. (The photo is of me post-workout; my hair is so dark because it is soaked. You do the math.)

El Freddo says I'm not his favorite person right now. In fact, when I asked if he still wants to stay married to me, he said he's "thinking about it."

*sigh* So. Anyone looking for a gently used wife? Room and board OBO.

Yearly Six Flags photo

2008-08-29T15:50:00.003-05:00

Getting back in shape has unexpected drawbacks

2008-08-28T16:47:00.006-05:00

The following is the slightly redacted version of an email I sent to a buddy of mine about my workout this morning. Bear in mind that I wear NO makeup and baggy, unglamorous clothes to the gym. I talk only to people I know well or if courtesy demands it. I just mind my own business, listen to my iPod, do my workout and leave. This is my adventure from today:

What is it with men? WHY is it that the dorkiest guy in the weight room never fails to follow me around? The weight room is not enormous, granted, but this dumb-sock-wearing, skinny-a$$ $#%^ followed me around ALL $%#^ morning and watched me. It was creepy. And it's not like I was the only workout queen in the room either-- there was at least one other instructor and a couple of younger gals in decent shape there, too. I'm pretty sure I was neither the best-looking nor worst-looking gal in the room.

Here I am, trying to do incline flies and this moron HAS to get in my mirror space. Hello? And for the rest of the workout, he is right behind me in the mirror. I can't imagine what the #$%& body part that geek was working since he basically hopped on whatever was right behind me. Dumb *&&%$ worked his shoulders, his chest, his tri's, his legs, the tops of his arms and I don't know what-all else.

And, to make it worse, every time I got on a pulley machine, he'd ask me if he could use one of the attachments. And if I got on a bench, then he'd ask me if he could use some other bench I'd never so much as GLANCED at. Every time, I had stop what I was doing and pull out one ear bud so I could hear what the #$@%% the moron was asking for. GOD. It almost goes without saying that he grunted louder than was absolutely necessary at all times. I blasted my iPod and I could still hear him.

So finally, I started moving so that, whenever he was behind me in the mirror, I'd block his view.

That violation of etiquette barely slowed him down.

So then, every time I saw him behind me, I rolled my eyes DRAMATICALLY. I swear to God it took like SIX times of me rolling my eyes every time he appeared behind me. FINALLY, finally, finally it sank in that I was rolling my eyes AT HIM and he retreated hastily with no small degree of evident embarrassment.

Do you think it would be a violation of YMCA policy if I brought a squirt gun? or maybe a paint ball gun? Do I have a "stupid wanna-be's please come bother me" sign on my back, or what? GAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

Okay. Rant over.

My buddy suggested pepper spray. I don't think a jury with any women on it at all would convict me.

Photo booth pix from Six Flags

2008-08-25T11:41:00.004-05:00

While Fred, Mel and Princess T went on the Tony Hawk ride, Liv and I got our pictures taken at a photo booth. Good thing I had these made before we rode the spinning balloon ride. After urging me to "spin faster!" Liv decided she might very well get sick.

She didn't. But it was a clear warning to mama about Liv's current capacity for spin rides! It could've been a real disaster for many reasons, not least of which being that I was carrying Mel's leather purse while they went on Tony Hawk. Can you imagine? Oof.

Wild, wet weekend

2008-08-24T18:38:00.004-05:00

Thursday a great time with Tony and Tracy. Saturday, a day-long zoo trip with friends from high school and their kids, and Sunday a trip to Six Flag with Mel and her kiddo. (The picture on the right is immediately after riding "The Tidal Wave" ride!)

And the miracle? No sunburn.

A grand time was had by all.

My 15 minutes

2008-08-20T20:07:00.004-05:00

Here's me and Deborah in the BJC Today newspaper posing for Survivors' Week. Ta daa!

Behind me are hangings signed by my Survivor predecessors. Each year has one. I signed mine the same day this picture was taken.

World domination is within my grasp!

2008-08-20T07:29:00.001-05:00

Bwaa haaa haaa! Another water aerobics class taught and...get this...they let me use WEIGHTS on my class.

Ha! Another way of inflicting pain on the unsuspecting populace. (Okay, well the unsuspecting populace of a local YMCA exercise class, but ya gotta work up to world domination, people.)

First Day of Kindergarten!!

2008-08-19T11:29:00.000-05:00

Gratuitous cute kiddo pix

2008-08-17T13:56:00.003-05:00

L'il bits camping out, watching TV

El Jeffe hair pic

2008-08-16T23:12:00.003-05:00

Darling Jeffe, clearly I've been neglecting you! I couldn't sleep so I decided to post another hair pic for you! No need to thank me, really.

It's now hit the stage where it's unruly. The spikes at the top happened when I took a shower at the gym after my workout and then stood in front of the hand dryer. It blew my hair forward into a little "Alfalfa" points on the top of my head!

Not only that, but I had to have the hair on the back of my neck actually trimmed. Can you believe it? But I plan to keep my hair its usual short length and the back was getting pretty ragged.

I had to trim my hair, people! Whoohooo!

Most excellent dinner

2008-08-16T08:28:00.004-05:00

Another fab dinner with Yosh and Dennis! Lots of laughs, lots of pasta (we were on the Hill, after all) and a comparatively minimal amount of Liv poking me in the head with a straw. Brought camera, forgot pix.

Awesome night!

First visit to kindergarten

2008-08-14T21:51:00.003-05:00

OMG. I think I signed up for every committee and every event on the K***** kindergarten calendar. I'm classroom mom, I'm helping with two parties, I'm volunteering at the library, I'm working on the trivia night and I'm in the PTO.

Holy crap. What just happened?

Anyway, the school was too cute for words and the teacher adorable. Liv is now in a.m. kindergarten at K rather than p.m. at W. It's all good.

Darling Miz Carolyn took Liv to the zoo today while I got to be a real live human woman instead of a mom for a few hours. Of course I went shoe shopping.

AND I bought a new pair of jeans. The ones I just bought are too big. I dropped another dress size. It's great, but it's getting expensive. heh.

Date night!

2008-08-13T23:19:00.002-05:00

Well, it seems that Liv will not be changing elementary schools after all. There is now an opening at K****, and that's where she'll be going! Fred is a bit disappointed that she won't attend his alma mater, if a kindergarten merits such an appellation. But I have to confess to being delighted. I already befriended a lot of folks at K***** and Liv and I have spent a lot of time there in pre-K activities.

So...since the W****** night was supposed to be tonight and we already had babysitting, I got to doll up (yep, slinky wrap dress and HIGH heels) and we had a date night!

We went to one of our favorite restauarnts-- everyone knows us there. When we were first married and I was making a lot of cash, we went there at least twice a week.

Our darling waitress, Chris, bought me a Macallan 18 as a congratulatory present. She put it on ice, but I forgive her: it was still a $22 glass of heaven. (A luscious single malt scotch, for you non-drinkers.)

The evening ended as one would expect such festivities to do and then Caroline brought Liv back shortly thereafter.

Now as I'm preparing to cuddle into bed and read a good book, I can hear the rain pattering on my windows.

A glorious evening.

Footloose and Cancer-free

2008-08-12T22:57:00.002-05:00

It's official as of this afternoon's mammogram. I am footloose and cancer-free.

Dancing with NED, baby.

One more page

2008-08-09T07:00:00.003-05:00

Okay, this is just fun.

Found a pic of grandpa (bottom right, hands on his belt) and Grandma Mary with a fish. Apparently I come by my love of fishing honestly.

Grandpa Culp in his salad days

2008-08-09T06:44:00.005-05:00

This is a page from his scrapbook with photos of his buddies in the finals. He is a University of Illinois Champagne-Urbana grad, but I can't tell whether this is where the finals took place.

Here he's the one doing the handstand and on the beach at (I think) Lake Michigan with my mother.

The images are full-size if you click on them.

Olympic history

2008-08-08T20:34:00.008-05:00

This is an opportune moment to mention that my maternal grandfather was first alternate in wrestling for the US Olympic team in 1928. I was lucky to find a bunch of photo albums recently.

Blogger's not cooperating, so I'll post the photos later.

The Princesses T

2008-08-08T20:17:00.004-05:00

Today we had some really good news from the T family!! Greg and the gang will have their dossier ready to go to Ethiopia NEXT WEEK! That means there should be at least one new princess in West County early next year.

Already I'm thinking about the shopping I'll be doing!

Mmmmm....shopping...aaauuuughhhhh....

Rock star!

2008-08-06T19:05:00.002-05:00

Thanks, darling Kim, for calling me a rock star!

Today I actually feel like one. Today, one day after my last radiation treatment, I taught my first water aerobics class! It felt really great, like I'd been doing it my whole life (rather than many, many years ago intermittently and on land).

The ladies in the class were awesome and they applauded at the end.

Hey-- look at me! I'm (old) Elvis!

More celebration

2008-08-05T19:17:00.005-05:00

We went to Incredible Pizza today after ballet class to celebrate my escape from the Dreaded Cancer Center of Doom!

Anyway, the most important news is that, for the first time EVER in the history of the world, I beat El Freddo at mini-bowling! Mind you it was by something like three points, but by GAWD the win goes to ME! (I got within 10 points of him in shooting; I've yet to get him there.)

In related news, Livi did not injure herself or others while mini-bowling and, notably, succeeded in actually getting a strike at one point!

Sadly, I was unable, despite my VASTLY SUPERIOR** driving skills, to beat El Freddo at Go-Karts. It appears that they are all set to the exact same speed, so if you're lucky enough to be the car directed to the left, you will always stay ahead.

I wonder if this is how Nascar works?

**This point will be revisited at Grand Prix Speedways the next time we can get a babysitter. I understand those bad boys go 60 mph.

LAST DAY!!!

2008-08-05T08:30:00.004-05:00

Here I am with Ros, Donna, my "little brother," Brett, and Chelle. How my dearest, sweet Angie escaped without getting in a photo I have NO idea! I am SO going back and getting a picture when I'm there for my checkup. My Legion of Doom buddy Donna brought me the flower balloon-- said she couldn't find one that cheery that also made noise or it'd have been perfect! heh.

Anyway, MUCH joy in Mudville today!

Starting to say goodbye

2008-08-02T17:11:00.004-05:00

Here I am on Friday with some of my favorite people from the cancer center. The picture under the "coconut tree" is me with The Legion of Doom fellow members, Donna and Al.

The dark-haired fellow, Tom, I owe a huge debt of gratitude. He's the one who first did my telemetry for radiation and was there for most of my treatments. He set the tone-- light, funny, friendly -- for the whole experience. He always looked happy to see me and I enjoyed his company thoroughly. It helped that he's from a small town in Southern Missouri that I know very well and we know some of the same people. But even if we hadn't, I know he'd have made me feel right at home anyway. In a radiation room, that's quite an accomplishment. (Jodie, the lovely redhead on my other side is a sweet, gentle soul. Liv thinks she looks like Ariel.)

Anyway, by the end of treatment, Tom and Brett (hope I get a picture of him for the blog by the time I'm done on Tuesday) had been declared my "little" brothers. We teased each other and laughed uproariously like the best siblings could be-- it was a joy to see them every morning.

The sweet, blonde nurses are two of my infusion nurses-- Keely and Christine. They were always good for a smile and a laugh, even when things were horrid in chemo. That, too, is a feat.

And Nancy. God bless Nancy. Even when my veins were torn up and insanely difficult to puncture, she took her time (sometimes a very long time) and didn't stick me until she was sure she'd hit the vein. Speaking as a woman who's had her arm mangled frequently over the last six months, I am telling you this woman is a national treasure. We should decree a holiday in her honor.

I am surprised at how emotional I am about leaving all these wonderful folks.

C.A.s' night out

2008-07-31T21:27:00.005-05:00

My girl Jane is in town this week from sunny San Diego. 5" of rain per year, she says. We probably had half that amount in the time it took me to drive to the Hill to meet her for dinner.

Anyway, last night was one of those rare events where ALL of us could make it. And trust me, that almost never happens. It was glorious. (All the folks you see are "graduates" of the City prosecutor's office.)

We ate well, drank well and tipped well. But alas, poor waiter, we sat at the table telling stories and laughing for a solid two hours after dinner. It was SO much fun.

Then this afternoon it was out with my fav former homicide detective/stay at home dad for more reminiscing and war stories. Big, big, big fun!

My girl

2008-07-30T21:18:00.005-05:00

My girl Jane came home. I can't stop smiling. The whole gaggle of ex-Circuit Attorneys assembled.

(Pictures and details later. For now, suffice it to say we all missed her a lot.)

How I feel

2008-07-30T13:48:00.003-05:00

I've been trying, unsuccessfully, to explain to El Freddo how I feel these days. Why I'm so enthusiastically beating myself up in the gym. Why I'm just DYING of anticipation to go see my girlfriends for dinner tonight. Why I just can't stop emailing with all my friends online.

So I wrote another survivor about it. She and her husband run a business in Alberta. What she wrote sort of sums it up.

Yes, I know waht you mean about getting back to life after Cancer...I find myself happily doing things that used to feel like a drudge....stuff like cleaning the bathtub, now it seems to be FUN. And running the bobcat, and going for parts, and just anything. I love doing it. And heck, just running up and down the stairs for laundry seems great. I too feel lke I don't want to miss a thing...in fact, when I wake up early in the morning, I almost want to get up, and just watch the day start. I love it all, and listening to the crows and whatever, its great. I sure hope I never take anything for granted, ever again. This feels like it has been the biggest wake-up call I
could ever have gotten....just like someone smacked me on the side of my head, to get my attention. Well, they've got it, and now I am paying attention. I smile and smile and smile, even when I'm running the bobcat, I all of a sudden find myself smiling(or grinning I'll bet)
about something that is going through my mind and loving every minute of it. I refuse to grumble about anything anymore, I'm alive, life is good, and I'm so thrilled to be enjoying every minute of it.

So, really, the answer is: I'm beating myself up in the gym for the sheer BLISS it brings me to feel my body work after being so disabled for so long. My friends? Same sort of thing.

Today I don't feel like I could ever take anything for granted again.

Hair shot for El Jeffe

2008-07-27T19:16:00.007-05:00

Now the hair is darkening up a little, the thicker it gets. It's getting long enough now that people seem to think I cut my hair this way on purpose. I get some odd looks, particularly from older men for some reason about which I can only speculate... Probably Republicans. Heh.

And no, L-Mac, I am not nekkid.

DJ Jazzy Mac thinks I take my hair pix whilst in a state of deshabille. Actually, the laptop with the webcam lives upstairs in our room so that's where the pictures are taken, generally right before bed while in my nightgown. I can't help it if L-Mac has a dirty mind! ;-)

And, parenthetically, I should've worked more on the calves and less on the chest. My pectoral muscles and I are no longer on speaking terms but my legs feel fine.

Why, again, did I think getting back into the gym is a good idea?

My gal Jane

2008-07-27T11:13:00.004-05:00

My gal Jane is at ComiCon this weekend and is taunting me. Cruel, cruel nerdly mistress of pain and envy! Here is the link to her photo album on Snapfish.

Yes, she's been to the Joss Whedon panel, seen the cast of Dr. Horrible's Singalong Blog, even seen the panel for Battlestar Galactica. All my favorites.

I was looking for a clip of Numfar's dance of shame to post with this, but could only find the dance of joy. If you are a Whedonista, as I am, you know what's coming. If not, brace yourself before viewing the video below. In any event, this should be reason enough why I consider Joss Whedon to be a deity and all that flows from him good and righteous.

morituri te salutant

2008-07-26T17:45:00.004-05:00

OMG, I'm not sure there is enough ibuprofen in the world for me right now.

It was chest and tricep day. I decided to throw in calf raises. HUNDREDS of calf raises. With weights. The only really scary thing is that my chest muscles put the pain in my legs in the shade.

I'll be lucky if I can crawl by Monday.

L-Mac playday

2008-07-26T12:18:00.005-05:00

Well, it's official, Crestwood Mall is in a death spiral. The pretzel place (Auntie Anne's) finally threw in the towel. The paint is chipping, the storefronts are shuttered and it's near to death.

HOWEVER it is a dandy place for a playdate!

L-Mac and princess Mac joined us at the kiddie play land for 2 solid hours of screaming and running while jumping on heavily laquered, brightly colored objects vaguely resembling items found in nature. Vaguely.

Anyway, in any normal mall, the shrieks of our children would've brought some pissy looks from passersby. Here, there are no passersby, unless you count other moms with noisy kiddos.

Heaven.

Then a lunch of pseudo-Mexican at Chevy's. Mmmmmm...chippy-dippies.....

(Check out the snotty look on Liv's face in the 1st picture. Is she already a teenager? When did THAT happen? )

Excellent decision-making model

2008-07-23T19:36:00.000-05:00

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more graph humor and song chart memes

Wednesday's doings

2008-07-23T18:25:00.008-05:00

A grand day.

Not only are my arms still working, but I kicked my own butt in aerobics today. Used heavy resistance for my arms and everything. This is the first time my abs have hurt since I was a real gym rat. I'm so proud.

Finished up Liv's registration in kindergarten. Papers are all in order. It's a done deal. So today not only did we drop off the rest of the papers, but we also went school clothes shopping. This was a very popular activity; I'm sure this surprises no one who knows my daughter.

Finally, I took Her Imperial Majesty to Target to pick out her very first school backpack. She changed her mind three times and enjoyed the process thoroughly. I managed not to get teary only by a concerted effort of will. But I did take pictures of her with her final choice-- Hello Kitty. She was so pleased with it, she wore it out of the store.

Then, while messing around on LinkedIn, I found a cousin I thought had disappeared forever. Next I heard from an old college friend I hadn't spoken with in years AND got a letter and photo from my friend Jan and her family from Niagara Falls. Finally, to cap off a wonderful day, my dear, dear friend and fellow BC survivor, Gladys, sent me a wonderful care package from Canada including many handmade items I will treasure for the rest of my life.

In addition to the already near and dear, I have made or rediscovered so many friends in the last six months, I am absolutely overcome. Cancer is nothing in comparison. I am clearly the most blessed woman ever.

Great Leap Forward

2008-07-22T13:49:00.002-05:00

Similar in magnitude to China's 1961 Great Leap Forward, I, this morning, have taken the historic step of hauling my lily white a$$ back into the weight room. I have not darkened its door since surgery many, many months of inactivity ago.

As I am writing, I am bathed in Tiger Balm, thoroughly ibuprofen'd, and wondering if, by tonight, I'll be able to lift my arms. I think not.

So, if you don't hear from me you'll know it's because flinging my useless appendages at the keyboard does not a blog post make.

(apologies for the repeat to some of you)

The Legion of Doom

2008-07-22T08:16:00.005-05:00

So. We sort of have a little club, we who go for radiation around 7 a.m. First it was me and my girlfriend, Al. Now Donna has joined us.

One of the nurses caught us cackling over something silly this morning. And, of course, we all look a lot alike-- mostly hairless, dressed in blue gowns and (in our case this morning) black caps, sipping cups of coffee.

A nurse stopped in her tracks and remarked on this.

We decided then and there that we WERE, in fact, a gang. The Legion of Doom, in point of fact. And, as you comic book types no doubt are aware, the radiation only enhances our mutant powers!

Consider yourself warned.

**************************

Speaking of Legions of Doom, the photo below almost killed me.

Grislier than my normal, but oh so fun

2008-07-21T22:57:00.000-05:00

Anyone read any of the John Sandford Prey series? (Rules of Prey, Shadow Prey, etc.) Not for the weak of stomach, but the detective, Lucas Davenport, is the coolest thing in a suspense thriller since Robert B. Parker last put pen to paper. I'm desperately besotted.

At least if there's going to be "another man," it's good he's fictional! :-)

Oh, and since we're on the topic of my nerdly literary fixations, check out the Watchmen trailer. It is a thing of eerie beauty.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Messed up hair!!

2008-07-20T16:22:00.001-05:00

Check it out!! I have enough hair for it to get messed up post-nap! Whoohoooo!!

And how about that Aaron Miles walk off grand slam this afternoon? Hair AND some great baseball-- my cup runneth over! GO CARDS!!

Email passed on by favorite Air Force Lt.Col.

2008-07-18T08:07:00.000-05:00

DIARY FROM IRAQ

So we are up in the mountains at about 0100 hrs looking for a bad guy that we thought was in the area. Here are ten of us, pitch black, crystal clear night, about 25 degrees. We know there are bad guys in the area, a few shots have been fired but no big deal. We decide that we need air cover and the only thing in the area is a solo B-1 bomber. He flies around at about 20,000 feet and tells us there is nothing in the area. He then asks if we would like a low level show of force.

Stupid question. Of course we tell him yes.

The controller who is attached to the team then is heard talking to the pilot. Pilot asks if we want it subsonic or supersonic.

Very stupid question.

Pilot advises he is twenty miles out and stand by. The controller gets us all sitting down in a line and points out the proper location. You have to picture this. Pitch black, ten killers sitting down, dead quiet and overlooking this about 30 mile long valley.

All of a sudden, way out (below our level) you see a set of four 200' white flames coming at us. The controller says, "Ah-- guys-- you might want to plug your ears". Faster than you can think a B-1, supersonic, 1000' over our heads, blasts the sound barrier and it feels like God just hit you in the head with a hammer. He then stands it straight up with 4 white trails of flame coming out and disappears.

Cost of gas for that: Probably $50,000

Hearing damage: For certain

Bunch of gunners thinking twice about shooting at us: Priceless.

**** The donor of this story says it's an oldie, but a goodie.

Me this morning

2008-07-17T09:33:00.000-05:00

For those of you worrying, stop it. Here's me this morning. I'm embarrassingly healthy for a gal with cancer. If it's gonna get me, it'll take some doing.

This morning's radiation jollies

2008-07-16T08:25:00.000-05:00

I've made my radiation folks a "mix tape" of, generally, less well known music since they have to listen to the same CDs over and over again. (Um...Ted? You do realize I've made a mix tape in the time since I asked you for one, right? I know, I know, demanding girl...) Happily, they popped it right in the carousel and it plays randomly throughout the day. However, this morning during my time it randomized from one of my songs to some new age-y spa-type music.

So I asked for a pedicure.

Wouldn't you? It's dark, there's soothing music, I'm lying on what looks for all the world like a massage table...I want a mani-pedi, dammit.

Brett, one of my all-time favorite techs said I'd just have to wait until one of the gals came in. (He ducked when I swatted him, the cur!)

Radiation update

2008-07-15T20:22:00.000-05:00

Rads is going just fine, for the most part. Still no pain. Still only perma-tanned under my arm. No burns, no scabs, nothing. BUT I'm getting tired.

Any of you who know me pretty well know that I generally think I'm 10' tall and 8' wide and completely bulletproof. Thus, I was fairly confident when they told me radiation would make me tired, that it wouldn't.

It is.

When I had a particularly vigorous workout Monday morning and a bunch of lawyer stuff in the afternoon I found myself literally shaking by 7 pm. Whoops.

So. As I've probably said 800 times since my surgery, I really REALLY am going to try to take it easy for a while. Really. (Quit laughing, dammit, L-Mac.)

Ballet class

2008-07-15T20:15:00.000-05:00

In keeping with my family tradition of ballet-- my cousin Suzi is teaching a class right now; me, I quit when puberty announced that my body was not going to be that of a dancer-- darling daughter is taking a dance class.

Liv was the BEST dancer at the parents' day "performance" today. Never mind that there were only three kids there today. She was the best. 'Nuff said.

It was so cute! They learned to count to 10 in French (necessary for counting the walls and corners in ballet class, seriously), a bunch of little jetes and arabesques and some barre work. It almost made me weepy, it was so adorable!

Gads, I am so going to be a "ballet mom" if she sticks with this. A little dance experience in a mom is a dangerous thing.

Hair shot for El Jeffe

2008-07-14T20:51:00.000-05:00

I think I'm up to a #2 rake; that's what El Freddo's newly buzzed hair is.

We're twins!

Lollapalooza

2008-07-14T13:11:00.000-05:00

Oh dear.

I was chitchatting during water aerobics class with the teacher, a 23 y/o who is planning, she said, to go to Lollapalooza in Chicago this year.

It just so happened that I'd worn to the gym today my 1993 Lollapalooza shirt. Strange coincidence? Rage Against the Machine played the festival then and is playing this year, too.

The funniest part for me was to see her face when she realized that I, a middle-aged suburban mom, had been to multiple Lollapaloozas. When my buddy Jessica told her she'd been to the same show and gotten her ears pierced there, I thought the teacher might drown!

I guess telling her what's on my iPod is just running up the score, right? Anyway, apparently I am now the coolest suburban mom this gal knows.

(Ticket stub, above, thanks to Flickr; gawd knows where my ticket stub ended up...)

Sunday

2008-07-13T20:19:00.001-05:00

Chores, chores, chores. House painting, gutter cleaning, dishes, laundry-- big fun. So, to liven up the post, here's my aunt with the newest family member, Wolfie.

Saturday: good food/bad thoughts

2008-07-12T23:46:00.000-05:00

Mostly a good day. Reflected a little on the Young Women's Breast Cancer meeting I went to Wednesday. Overall a good experience-- much laughter and camaraderie.

However, it became somewhat apparent during the meeting that even given my strength and comparatively simple diagnosis, I could still die and fairly quickly at that. Also apparent that many of my fellow survivors have had to endure recurrences which were equally as bad, if not worse, than the first. Neither a particularly happy thought. Cancer sucks the big whazootie.

That nothwithstanding, a delightful dinner was had with the T family at Hodaks. John and I both worked as prosecutors in the same office and as appellate PDs together. He's my boy.

Four kids amongst us, all Asian, all high-spirited, to say the least. We were something of a spectacle. But fun and much excellent fried chicken was had by all.

If you're not a City kitty as I was, and have not tried Hodak's, you must go immediately. Prepare to break your diet over the most delectable fried chicken that ever graced a plate. Also prepare to wait in line for a table.

Parenthetically, I've only been going there for 10+ years so I'm a comparative newbie. It's St. Louis institution for the South City crowd and some downtown City workers. It's that kind of place. And, as always while in season, the Cards game was on. Heaven.

Blissful Friday

2008-07-11T21:22:00.000-05:00

Rads this morning-- my two favorite techs on duty. Since my irradiated zones are beginning to become tan-- a condition, I understand, that will be permanent-- we've all decided I should have a little red pop-up button that indicates when I'm done roasting. Love it.

Then L-Mac took Liv for a few hours while I had lunch at Duff's with my boys from The-Insurance-Company-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named. Didn't realize how much I missed my guys til I saw them. Cell #s exchanged with promises of future lunches and possible drunken debauchery. Or at least a beer or two.

Picked up Liv from "Old McDonald's" where she, Princess Mac and the Princess' cousin had been running wild in the playland for two solid hours. L-Mac and Mac-Mom were both there and a nice visit was had.

Evening rounded out by some Guitar Hero with El Freddo. I played bass since, as we all know, bass players get all the chicks. heh.

Yes, I actually do golf, albeit poorly

2008-07-09T15:30:00.001-05:00

Remember this one, El Jeffe?

This was at The Lake; can't remember which course. But isn't this the most idyllic golf pic?

******
Post script:

Quoth El Jeffe:

Yep! That is Sycamore Creek. Nice pic! Here's the link to the course:

http://www.golfingmissouri.com/courses/detail.php?id=14

Added resistance

2008-07-09T11:50:00.000-05:00

Liv and I have water class at the same time-- she swims, I have aerobics. However, since she's the only child enrolled in the class, the time is reduced from the normal class length of 45 minutes to 30 minutes, essentially a private lesson. My class is still 45 minutes.

However, at the 30 minute mark, we've gotten down to crunches and other isolation exercises. Thus, I simply put her on my back for increased resistance. Voila.

She's pretty loud for a free weight, though.

A-Rod and Madonna? Who cares?

2008-07-07T20:50:00.000-05:00

What's really important is that A-Rod's lawyer's name is Ira M. Elegant.

Yes, that's right, folks I.M. Elegant.

Oy.

A spot of good news

2008-07-07T09:34:00.000-05:00

Two spots, actually.

1) Despite the occasional post-radiation redness, my onco-radiologist says my skin is NOT the type to burn in radiation! I may get a little sunburn, but compared to the bubbling, oozing burns some folks get, I'll take it;

2) I have officially lost another dress size. I still do not recommend this diet to others. Except maybe Lindsey Lohan. Or Paris Hilton. Whichever.

Last event of a fun, busy holiday weekend

2008-07-06T21:36:00.001-05:00

A picnic at Des Peres park with the Z clan! Happily, there were fountains for the kiddos to splash in. We brought dessert, they brought pizza-- a grand time was had by all!