Holiday pix

Winter break has been a lot of fun for Liv and me! We've hung out and done some "girl bonding stuff." Also she's found she LOVES that new V-smile hand held we bought her for Christmas. Just goes to show she's Fred's daughter. Maybe it's genetic? (har de har har.)

Anyway, my tiny tot likes to turn over the couch cushions, grab a pillow which hasn't made it upstairs yet from post-surgery, and make herself a nest for playing V-smile. It's adorable!

And then, a couple days ago, we got all dolled up and went to the Art Museum. It was Liv's first trip and she LOVED it. (I thought she would.) Think of all the fancy gowns in the portraits! And then all the medieval armor she loved because of the heroic princes and princesses in her movies.

She zipped around amongst display cases, gasping and pointing to the vast amusement of the other patrons. "Mama! Look at this!!" Happily, I got to show her some of the pieces that were my favorites when I was her age. Didn't mean much to her since she had her own favs, but it did my heart a world of good and gave me some moments I'll remember for the rest of my life.

The mummies? Not so much. She really wanted to see them. But then, as it turns out, she's watched too much Scooby Doo and became suspicious they'd reanimate and chase her around the museum. Unfortunately, she didn't really get alarmed until we got a good look at them, so mama here blythely took a photo of her with a sarcophagus. The look on her face probably should have clued me in, huh?

Nonetheless, we ate at Puck's, shopped at the Museum shop and had a grand old time. Best of all? She wants to go back! I think I might've died and gone to heaven.

More gratuitous food pics and holiday shots

That's Amy and Jacob in the middle photo there. Amy's one of my mom buddies and Jake's Livi's main squeeze, kindergarten-wise. Ain't he a doll?

Christmas week

It's been a nice Christmas week. Christmas eve we went out for Chinese. Today we opened presents and went to a movie. I'm keeping in touch with my Jewish side, clearly. Anyway, we popped by Queeny Park after the movie to let Liv play in her favorite playground, then scooted by my old high school. Haven't been there since my ex-bf from that time dragged me there during a break during college. It appears not to have changed one iota. Kind of nice.

Anyway, the shots above are from Christmas Eve as well as Christmas. And there's one gratuitous food porn shot. The turnovers turned out really well and I thought they needed to be memorialized publicly.

I'm free!

Well, I'm out. Wednesday 6:30 a.m. I showed up and demanded a mani-pedi and a facial. I got a hysterectomy instead, but at least the nurses thought it was funny. I certainly could've used the mani-pedi, though... they should multi-purpose the surgery unit, methinks. Thursday, I was out by noon.

So, the operation itself took longer than they'd planned. Apparently I'm not the correct size. Don't ask.

I also learned that when doing a hysterectomy on a patient, they turn her UPSIDE DOWN. Thus, after four hours in surgery, my face and hands were swollen. Gee. Wonder why?

Also, it turns out I'm allergic to dillaudid. It's a shame because, as a nurse friend of mine tells me, "it's good stuff." However, when given same, I do my imitation of a rash-y Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Not so good.

My surgeon was talented AND had lots and lots of company in the surgery suite. I counted three surgeons, a med student, a resident, a fellow, two anesthesiologists and several nurses. (No, I wasn't awake; these are the folks that introduced themselves to me.) I'm told being in good shape helped with my miraculously quick recovery. See? There's a reason I make my classes do a gazillion sit-ups!

So now I'm home.

I can't wear pants or, really, anything with a waistband. So unless I'm willing to wear a dress and go "commando," I am stuck at home. My belly is swelled out to here and is hard as a rock. You'd think I was pregnant, which is kind of ironic under the circumstances.

Ordinarily I loathe pain meds, but I make an exception in the case of abdominal surgery. Having one's gut twisted up is really better resolved while asleep. Moving around does nobody any good.

And that thing about filling your body cavity with CO2 is no joke. Initially the gas settled around my hips. I literally could not feel the bones of my hips-- it was like I had a big, fleshy balloon around them. Now some of the gas has migrated to the traditional spot post-laproscopy: my shoulders. Ow.

El F and I have settled in to watch a lot of DVDs and hang out. He took several days off to watch over me. And a lot of the moms of Liv's friends have invited her over for afternoons or sleepovers to give us a break. May those people reap lavish rewards for their good deeds; I could not have survived without them.

El F's task will become much harder when I start to feel better. I'm on full "pelvic rest" for most purposes for four weeks. Some tasks go six weeks. Anyway, as you probably know, I'm not a sedentary soul and pelvic rest involves doing almost nothing I like to do. The least invasive of these restrictions is that I can't lift anything over ten pounds. Folks, my DOG weighs more than 10 pounds. I am so hosed.

Anyway, I've promised to be good. And I will try. But it is not going to be easy once I start to feel better. So if you see me lifting something, kindly knock it out of my hands. (Unless it's a living creature. Then you have permission to speak sharply to me.)

Right now, my primary complaint is that, as inflated as my belly is, it's hard to get a lung full of air. And I'm bored by sitting around. Still, it's much better than it might've been, no? Once again, I'm incredibly lucky.

Whoops

Slight miscalculation: when insurance okay'd the hysterectomy in addition to an oophorectomy, what nobody told me is that even a laproscopic hysterectomy is still an inpatient procedure.

Oh bother.

In fact they were talking at my pre-op today that I might be "in" for 2 or 3 nights, which puts me inside awfully close to my birthday. In fact I may only get home in time for the natal day.

Crap.

In other news, Liv and I just decorated the Xmas tree. Miss Thing actually hung most of the ornaments. (She's tucking her very cold feet under my shirt as I'm here on the couch, trying to blog. Did I mention they were very very cold feet?) Anyway, she's getting to be such a big girl!

Operation: Laproscopic Shop Vacc is a go

December 17th is the day, kids. Insurance has kindly agreed to pay to gut me, so I shall be taking them up on it.

The surgery should be quick and might result in an overnight stay, max. If I end up staying inpatient multiple nights, heads will roll. They'd be wise to keep me sedated for several months.

I've taken in a bunch of new cases, necessitating the purchase of letterhead and the stocking up on ink cartridges. Good lord, I'm actually back in business. How 'bout that?

I'll be teaching class until the end of the session on the 14th and resuming when the Y resumes classes on January 5. Further, I'm planning Livi's kindergarten holiday party on the 19th and, while I don't plan to be real perky, by gawd I'm going to be there, taking pictures!

So. They tell me the scars won't be significantly worse, when healed, than my healed-up pierced navel. Makes me no nevermind. Scar me up, but take that cancer-susceptible stuff the heck out of me, you hear?

Life is good

It looks like surgery is a go: I shall have my girlie bits out before year's end. The way I understand it is they'll make some small abdominal incisions and shop vacc all the parts out.

Okay, maybe that's an over-simplification.

Anyhow, I am disappointed to hear that I might have to spend the night in the hospital. You all know how I relished my last stay.

But I assure you I am quite happy with this decision. I am going to do everything I can to keep this cancer beastie at bay. If it gets me, it gets me. At least I won't wonder about things I failed to do and whether they'd have changed the outcome.

I find this thought rather cheery. I think you should, too.

A tragic bean pie-related injury

Yes, the rumors are true: navy bean pie can be hazardous to your health.

This morning, having awoken before the family, I made a pot of coffee and settled down with a book to read in blessed silence. Hmmm....what's missing? Ah, yes. That last piece of navy bean pie from Thanksgiving at the Kaegis. I thought I'd just put that on a plate and my morning would be perfect.

That was not to be.

The pretty ceramic pie plate had a hairline crack which, when I applied pressure to get the last piece of pie out, burst into pieces, one of which ate part of my left thumb.

I put my coffee in a travel mug, the pie on a plate and my thumb in a towel and headed for the hospital. It was only 2 hours, but I barely got any reading done since there's not much business in the ER on a Sunday morning early.

In other news, my own El F has come to the grudging conclusion that my advanced water class is, in point of fact, hard. I subbed on Saturday and he took the class. He is walking with some difficulty today. I try to seem sympathetic, but he insists I don't look sorry!

Hegemom de Sade

Is it twisted that I love overhearing stuff my classes say about me?

Today I heard one of the guys say, "wow, [she's] strong" and the other agree, "very strong."

Last week, one of the longtime students told another that I was "the meanest teacher." The response was that I was the meanest right after Cindy (Cindy being the one who induced major leg cramps in me when I took her class a year ago.)

Never mind that I have to ice my knees when I get home from class-- it's so worth it!

What's new

Let's see...

Thanksgiving was fabulous. We joined the family of an old, dear friend of mine and had an absolute blast. Brother Brad plunked himself down on a stool in front of me and played guitar until I got a bit misty. Probably the bourbon aided in that endeavor, but it was a wonderful evening. His wife, Ave, is adorable.

Seeing the Kaegi family was wonderful. I used to love going to their house when I was a kid. It was always such a cheerful place to be. Except, of course, when Marlene threatened to rip the boys' lips off! hah! I didn't doubt for one second that tiny thing could beat down her enormous boys if she put her mind to it, either.

I got my home diva on: made a bean pie (it's a Southern thing), pumpkin soup and green salad with pecans and cranberries. This is what happens when I'm left with a day to myself to cook and no directives-- I'll just cook until I feel like stopping.

In other news: Liv's kindergarten class won the canned food drive competition thanks, in part, to my totally inappropriately competitive nature. I sent around an email to the other parents urging them to kick the 5th graders' butts, in essence.

Anyway, my image has now been broadcast on Fox news; I may never live down the shame! The good news is that the local food bank has a lot to feed the people in their care, and that's what is important. That, and winning the right to hit the principal with a pie.

Should be having surgery within a few weeks to remove my ovaries. Big fun. I'm not planning on missing many of my classes so this recovery thing better go quick. My classes will be delighted if I can't make them do my usual abdominal routine, though.

Friday slideshow

Usually I don't go in for the gimmicky slide shows, but this was so perfect for the little divas, I had to:

Friday - meh.

I had the daughter of an old friend over for a playdate today. C is a year younger than Liv and they're fast friends. It's so odd that someone who knew me in the wilder days of my 20's now lives practically across the street and we're raising our kids together. Same bus stop even.

I baked cupcakes for the kids and gave them tons of stuff to decorate. Then they put on makeup and costumes and had a fashion show. Turned out to be a blast. I'll post photos.

I got kudos from the boss about my abdominals class: apparently she's hearing a lot of good things from my class. It's kinda great.

Otherwise, not much to report. My old friend (see tiff) is still pissed with me (I'm quite disillusioned-- remind me never to put anyone on a pedestal ever again) and my knee is still wicked sore. I have yet to track down an orthopod. I also have yet to determine whether surgery is in my immediate future and I'm still trying to unravel my insurance paperwork.

Also, Liv's really petitioning hard for a sister. Given the reason that we can't adopt, it's really tough on El Freddo and me. And Liv just doesn't understand.

So, I say again: Meh.

Stupid, annoying day

This has been a craptacular day. I spent a significant portion of it talking to doctors about possibly going under the knife again. Maybe. I'm still having nightmares from having gone to the breast cancer symposium and now I'm talking about further surgery. Bleh.

My knees hurt, my house is a disaster, I had yet another tiff with the only friend I ever have tiffs with, I was horrified at the state of Liv's room (which we just cleaned-- why, why do they hoard stuff under their beds?), my freaking insurance companied denied my claim for a pap smear (hello?), and I got a nasty letter from a medical provider about $7 I neglected to pay them.

Craptastic.

Breast Cancer Symposium

My survivors' group, YWBCP, had its annual symposium yesterday-- truly a mixed blessing. Powerful tool for learning, wonderful to commune with my warrior sisters, absolutely terrifying to hear the tales of recurrence and metastasis and to realize the many things that I should be doing to increase my own chance of survival.

The fact that I am becoming extremely fit is a great advantage, true. But limiting alcohol consumption is hugely important. And, frighteningly, NO level of consumption of polyunsaturated fats is safe for a survivor. None.

There are issues as to soy and as to processed products-- white sugar and white flour should be no-nos. Insulin spikes (after, say, Halloween candy) are now thought to be extremely dangerous for survivors. And yet, have you ever tried to purchase a diet of whole wheat products with no white sugar and organic fruits and vegetables? There's a reason "Whole Foods" is often called "Whole Paycheck." So the chances of my survival hinge, at least partially, on my income. Sickening.

Nonetheless, it is a powerful thing to be with my sisters. And I am grateful to only be wearing the pink scarf of a one-year survivor, as opposed to the white scarf of a woman with metastasis.

Above are a few photos I took of Beth and Marsha, two of my favorites. Beth is the one in single photo with me. She's got the same amount of hair I had the last time I saw her: she had "hair envy" back then. We're hoping to get picked for the trout fishing retreat together.

Beth and I are really bonded in many ways, not least of which is our shared mania about the gym. Survivors sometimes fixate of some aspect of post-treatment life. We have both grasped fitness as something we can control about our bodies. There are, as I'm sure you understand, so many things which we cannot control about our bodies and their propensity to become cancer-ridden again. But fitness? that we can control. So we are warriors in the gym, hoping to stave off the weakness of our bodies with respect to cancer.

The trout fishing retreat is just another of the "goodies" we survivors often get. Recently we got a fistful of concert tickets. (Sadly it was Neil Diamond, but I guess I could've heard "Sweet Caroline" live, so that's something.) But they're always doing something nice for us, particularly last month, which was BC month.

Anyway, everyone's amused by my abruptly blonde head. I told them: "I've been bald; what do I have to be afraid of?" Perhaps unnecessary to say, but they all "got" that.

So now I plan to eat a little better and go back to forgetting, as much as possible, that my life expectancy is different from last year. In my future? More genetic testing, more check-ups and possibly the removal of all my internal girlie bits. With a family history like mine, I would probably take them out, myself, if I could. But stay tuned. The good news? I understand my stuff can be taken out laproscopically, so less time out off from teaching and the gym. Yippee.

Oh and I must mention that Christy is on the 3-Day Komen walk next week. Think the good thought for her, would you?

Election, cartouche, and school pix

Worked as "security" for Liv's grade school which was on lock down since it was a polling place. Yep, orange vests and walkie talkies. I kid you not.















Darling Miss Jane sent me a cartouche necklace from her trip to Egypt. Very cool.














And here is the adorable Miss Liv's school picture.

Halloween, the actual evening

Well, it had an ominous beginning: Liv fell on the way to the first house and was off her feed for the next hour, which included all the house-to-house. But THEN we got to the party. The party was where Liv had a most righteous evening and fine time was had by all.

In the photos you'll see the cake I made for the party and covered with fondant. (El F says it tastes like...um...some bodily location the flavor with which one would not ordinarily be familiar.) However, it was very popular with the kiddos because it was a jack'o'lantern. Yep, that's me-- a crowd-pleaser.

Anyway, despite my exhaustion and being completely SICK of Halloween by the time the actual holiday came around (see my FB page), it was terrific.

Kickin' it K'wood style

And following the kindergarten bash, there was trick or treating in downtown Kirkwood. All the shop owners sat outside their stores while trick or treaters came by for treats.

Afterward, a local band for children, the Babaloos, played in the plaza. Big fun!

Kickin' it kindergarten-style

Yesterday was the kindergarten Halloween bash:

Pumps of my dreams

When L-Mac and I went shopping (instead of to see Clinton), we spotted this GORGEOUS pair of pumps at Nordstrom. These with a little black dress for the weddings? (Okay, okay, maybe I have to buy them in black....maybe.)
Aren't they beautiful?















Although I have to say, El F spotted an even sexier pair in the shoe department today when I was showing him these-- the boy apparently knows what he likes on me. The back was closed and the heel higher. The website just didn't have a photo. In any event, I'm viewing the upcoming nuptials with joy for many reasons, several of them sartorial.

Oh and hosted a lovely impromptu dinner tonight-- Mel and her little girl came over for dinner: pizza and lots of wine. (Lemonaid for the girls)

Big fun.

K'wood Saturday

A walk on Grant's Trail and a trip to the Farmers' Market. (Note: I am taking my turn carrying the scooter Liv swore she wanted to ride on the trail. *sigh*)