C.A.s' night out

My girl Jane is in town this week from sunny San Diego. 5" of rain per year, she says. We probably had half that amount in the time it took me to drive to the Hill to meet her for dinner.

Anyway, last night was one of those rare events where ALL of us could make it. And trust me, that almost never happens. It was glorious. (All the folks you see are "graduates" of the City prosecutor's office.)

We ate well, drank well and tipped well. But alas, poor waiter, we sat at the table telling stories and laughing for a solid two hours after dinner. It was SO much fun.

Then this afternoon it was out with my fav former homicide detective/stay at home dad for more reminiscing and war stories. Big, big, big fun!

My girl

My girl Jane came home. I can't stop smiling. The whole gaggle of ex-Circuit Attorneys assembled.

(Pictures and details later. For now, suffice it to say we all missed her a lot.)

How I feel

I've been trying, unsuccessfully, to explain to El Freddo how I feel these days. Why I'm so enthusiastically beating myself up in the gym. Why I'm just DYING of anticipation to go see my girlfriends for dinner tonight. Why I just can't stop emailing with all my friends online.

So I wrote another survivor about it. She and her husband run a business in Alberta. What she wrote sort of sums it up.

Yes, I know waht you mean about getting back to life after Cancer...I find myself happily doing things that used to feel like a drudge....stuff like cleaning the bathtub, now it seems to be FUN. And running the bobcat, and going for parts, and just anything. I love doing it. And heck, just running up and down the stairs for laundry seems great. I too feel lke I don't want to miss a thing...in fact, when I wake up early in the morning, I almost want to get up, and just watch the day start. I love it all, and listening to the crows and whatever, its great. I sure hope I never take anything for granted, ever again. This feels like it has been the biggest wake-up call I
could ever have gotten....just like someone smacked me on the side of my head, to get my attention. Well, they've got it, and now I am paying attention. I smile and smile and smile, even when I'm running the bobcat, I all of a sudden find myself smiling(or grinning I'll bet)
about something that is going through my mind and loving every minute of it. I refuse to grumble about anything anymore, I'm alive, life is good, and I'm so thrilled to be enjoying every minute of it.

So, really, the answer is: I'm beating myself up in the gym for the sheer BLISS it brings me to feel my body work after being so disabled for so long. My friends? Same sort of thing.

Today I don't feel like I could ever take anything for granted again.

Hair shot for El Jeffe

Now the hair is darkening up a little, the thicker it gets. It's getting long enough now that people seem to think I cut my hair this way on purpose. I get some odd looks, particularly from older men for some reason about which I can only speculate... Probably Republicans. Heh.

And no, L-Mac, I am not nekkid.

DJ Jazzy Mac thinks I take my hair pix whilst in a state of deshabille. Actually, the laptop with the webcam lives upstairs in our room so that's where the pictures are taken, generally right before bed while in my nightgown. I can't help it if L-Mac has a dirty mind! ;-)

And, parenthetically, I should've worked more on the calves and less on the chest. My pectoral muscles and I are no longer on speaking terms but my legs feel fine.

Why, again, did I think getting back into the gym is a good idea?

My gal Jane

My gal Jane is at ComiCon this weekend and is taunting me. Cruel, cruel nerdly mistress of pain and envy! Here is the link to her photo album on Snapfish.

Yes, she's been to the Joss Whedon panel, seen the cast of Dr. Horrible's Singalong Blog, even seen the panel for Battlestar Galactica. All my favorites.

I was looking for a clip of Numfar's dance of shame to post with this, but could only find the dance of joy. If you are a Whedonista, as I am, you know what's coming. If not, brace yourself before viewing the video below. In any event, this should be reason enough why I consider Joss Whedon to be a deity and all that flows from him good and righteous.

morituri te salutant

OMG, I'm not sure there is enough ibuprofen in the world for me right now.

It was chest and tricep day. I decided to throw in calf raises. HUNDREDS of calf raises. With weights. The only really scary thing is that my chest muscles put the pain in my legs in the shade.

I'll be lucky if I can crawl by Monday.

L-Mac playday

Well, it's official, Crestwood Mall is in a death spiral. The pretzel place (Auntie Anne's) finally threw in the towel. The paint is chipping, the storefronts are shuttered and it's near to death.

HOWEVER it is a dandy place for a playdate!

L-Mac and princess Mac joined us at the kiddie play land for 2 solid hours of screaming and running while jumping on heavily laquered, brightly colored objects vaguely resembling items found in nature. Vaguely.

Anyway, in any normal mall, the shrieks of our children would've brought some pissy looks from passersby. Here, there are no passersby, unless you count other moms with noisy kiddos.

Heaven.

Then a lunch of pseudo-Mexican at Chevy's. Mmmmmm...chippy-dippies.....

(Check out the snotty look on Liv's face in the 1st picture. Is she already a teenager? When did THAT happen? )

Excellent decision-making model

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more graph humor and song chart memes

Wednesday's doings

A grand day.

Not only are my arms still working, but I kicked my own butt in aerobics today. Used heavy resistance for my arms and everything. This is the first time my abs have hurt since I was a real gym rat. I'm so proud.

Finished up Liv's registration in kindergarten. Papers are all in order. It's a done deal. So today not only did we drop off the rest of the papers, but we also went school clothes shopping. This was a very popular activity; I'm sure this surprises no one who knows my daughter.

Finally, I took Her Imperial Majesty to Target to pick out her very first school backpack. She changed her mind three times and enjoyed the process thoroughly. I managed not to get teary only by a concerted effort of will. But I did take pictures of her with her final choice-- Hello Kitty. She was so pleased with it, she wore it out of the store.

Then, while messing around on LinkedIn, I found a cousin I thought had disappeared forever. Next I heard from an old college friend I hadn't spoken with in years AND got a letter and photo from my friend Jan and her family from Niagara Falls. Finally, to cap off a wonderful day, my dear, dear friend and fellow BC survivor, Gladys, sent me a wonderful care package from Canada including many handmade items I will treasure for the rest of my life.

In addition to the already near and dear, I have made or rediscovered so many friends in the last six months, I am absolutely overcome. Cancer is nothing in comparison. I am clearly the most blessed woman ever.

Great Leap Forward

Similar in magnitude to China's 1961 Great Leap Forward, I, this morning, have taken the historic step of hauling my lily white a$$ back into the weight room. I have not darkened its door since surgery many, many months of inactivity ago.

As I am writing, I am bathed in Tiger Balm, thoroughly ibuprofen'd, and wondering if, by tonight, I'll be able to lift my arms. I think not.

So, if you don't hear from me you'll know it's because flinging my useless appendages at the keyboard does not a blog post make.

(apologies for the repeat to some of you)

The Legion of Doom

So. We sort of have a little club, we who go for radiation around 7 a.m. First it was me and my girlfriend, Al. Now Donna has joined us.

One of the nurses caught us cackling over something silly this morning. And, of course, we all look a lot alike-- mostly hairless, dressed in blue gowns and (in our case this morning) black caps, sipping cups of coffee.

A nurse stopped in her tracks and remarked on this.

We decided then and there that we WERE, in fact, a gang. The Legion of Doom, in point of fact. And, as you comic book types no doubt are aware, the radiation only enhances our mutant powers!

Consider yourself warned.

**************************

Speaking of Legions of Doom, the photo below almost killed me.

Grislier than my normal, but oh so fun

Anyone read any of the John Sandford Prey series? (Rules of Prey, Shadow Prey, etc.) Not for the weak of stomach, but the detective, Lucas Davenport, is the coolest thing in a suspense thriller since Robert B. Parker last put pen to paper. I'm desperately besotted.

At least if there's going to be "another man," it's good he's fictional! :-)

Oh, and since we're on the topic of my nerdly literary fixations, check out the Watchmen trailer. It is a thing of eerie beauty.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Messed up hair!!

Check it out!! I have enough hair for it to get messed up post-nap! Whoohoooo!!

And how about that Aaron Miles walk off grand slam this afternoon? Hair AND some great baseball-- my cup runneth over! GO CARDS!!

Email passed on by favorite Air Force Lt.Col.

DIARY FROM IRAQ

So we are up in the mountains at about 0100 hrs looking for a bad guy that we thought was in the area. Here are ten of us, pitch black, crystal clear night, about 25 degrees. We know there are bad guys in the area, a few shots have been fired but no big deal. We decide that we need air cover and the only thing in the area is a solo B-1 bomber. He flies around at about 20,000 feet and tells us there is nothing in the area. He then asks if we would like a low level show of force.

Stupid question. Of course we tell him yes.

The controller who is attached to the team then is heard talking to the pilot. Pilot asks if we want it subsonic or supersonic.

Very stupid question.

Pilot advises he is twenty miles out and stand by. The controller gets us all sitting down in a line and points out the proper location. You have to picture this. Pitch black, ten killers sitting down, dead quiet and overlooking this about 30 mile long valley.

All of a sudden, way out (below our level) you see a set of four 200' white flames coming at us. The controller says, "Ah-- guys-- you might want to plug your ears". Faster than you can think a B-1, supersonic, 1000' over our heads, blasts the sound barrier and it feels like God just hit you in the head with a hammer. He then stands it straight up with 4 white trails of flame coming out and disappears.

Cost of gas for that: Probably $50,000

Hearing damage: For certain

Bunch of gunners thinking twice about shooting at us: Priceless.

**** The donor of this story says it's an oldie, but a goodie.

Me this morning

For those of you worrying, stop it. Here's me this morning. I'm embarrassingly healthy for a gal with cancer. If it's gonna get me, it'll take some doing.

This morning's radiation jollies

I've made my radiation folks a "mix tape" of, generally, less well known music since they have to listen to the same CDs over and over again. (Um...Ted? You do realize I've made a mix tape in the time since I asked you for one, right? I know, I know, demanding girl...) Happily, they popped it right in the carousel and it plays randomly throughout the day. However, this morning during my time it randomized from one of my songs to some new age-y spa-type music.

So I asked for a pedicure.

Wouldn't you? It's dark, there's soothing music, I'm lying on what looks for all the world like a massage table...I want a mani-pedi, dammit.

Brett, one of my all-time favorite techs said I'd just have to wait until one of the gals came in. (He ducked when I swatted him, the cur!)

Radiation update

Rads is going just fine, for the most part. Still no pain. Still only perma-tanned under my arm. No burns, no scabs, nothing. BUT I'm getting tired.

Any of you who know me pretty well know that I generally think I'm 10' tall and 8' wide and completely bulletproof. Thus, I was fairly confident when they told me radiation would make me tired, that it wouldn't.

It is.

When I had a particularly vigorous workout Monday morning and a bunch of lawyer stuff in the afternoon I found myself literally shaking by 7 pm. Whoops.

So. As I've probably said 800 times since my surgery, I really REALLY am going to try to take it easy for a while. Really. (Quit laughing, dammit, L-Mac.)

Ballet class

In keeping with my family tradition of ballet-- my cousin Suzi is teaching a class right now; me, I quit when puberty announced that my body was not going to be that of a dancer-- darling daughter is taking a dance class.

Liv was the BEST dancer at the parents' day "performance" today. Never mind that there were only three kids there today. She was the best. 'Nuff said.

It was so cute! They learned to count to 10 in French (necessary for counting the walls and corners in ballet class, seriously), a bunch of little jetes and arabesques and some barre work. It almost made me weepy, it was so adorable!

Gads, I am so going to be a "ballet mom" if she sticks with this. A little dance experience in a mom is a dangerous thing.

Hair shot for El Jeffe

I think I'm up to a #2 rake; that's what El Freddo's newly buzzed hair is.

We're twins!

Lollapalooza

Oh dear.

I was chitchatting during water aerobics class with the teacher, a 23 y/o who is planning, she said, to go to Lollapalooza in Chicago this year.

It just so happened that I'd worn to the gym today my 1993 Lollapalooza shirt. Strange coincidence? Rage Against the Machine played the festival then and is playing this year, too.

The funniest part for me was to see her face when she realized that I, a middle-aged suburban mom, had been to multiple Lollapaloozas. When my buddy Jessica told her she'd been to the same show and gotten her ears pierced there, I thought the teacher might drown!

I guess telling her what's on my iPod is just running up the score, right? Anyway, apparently I am now the coolest suburban mom this gal knows.

(Ticket stub, above, thanks to Flickr; gawd knows where my ticket stub ended up...)

Sunday

Chores, chores, chores. House painting, gutter cleaning, dishes, laundry-- big fun. So, to liven up the post, here's my aunt with the newest family member, Wolfie.

Saturday: good food/bad thoughts

Mostly a good day. Reflected a little on the Young Women's Breast Cancer meeting I went to Wednesday. Overall a good experience-- much laughter and camaraderie.

However, it became somewhat apparent during the meeting that even given my strength and comparatively simple diagnosis, I could still die and fairly quickly at that. Also apparent that many of my fellow survivors have had to endure recurrences which were equally as bad, if not worse, than the first. Neither a particularly happy thought. Cancer sucks the big whazootie.

That nothwithstanding, a delightful dinner was had with the T family at Hodaks. John and I both worked as prosecutors in the same office and as appellate PDs together. He's my boy.

Four kids amongst us, all Asian, all high-spirited, to say the least. We were something of a spectacle. But fun and much excellent fried chicken was had by all.

If you're not a City kitty as I was, and have not tried Hodak's, you must go immediately. Prepare to break your diet over the most delectable fried chicken that ever graced a plate. Also prepare to wait in line for a table.

Parenthetically, I've only been going there for 10+ years so I'm a comparative newbie. It's St. Louis institution for the South City crowd and some downtown City workers. It's that kind of place. And, as always while in season, the Cards game was on. Heaven.

Blissful Friday

Rads this morning-- my two favorite techs on duty. Since my irradiated zones are beginning to become tan-- a condition, I understand, that will be permanent-- we've all decided I should have a little red pop-up button that indicates when I'm done roasting. Love it.

Then L-Mac took Liv for a few hours while I had lunch at Duff's with my boys from The-Insurance-Company-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named. Didn't realize how much I missed my guys til I saw them. Cell #s exchanged with promises of future lunches and possible drunken debauchery. Or at least a beer or two.

Picked up Liv from "Old McDonald's" where she, Princess Mac and the Princess' cousin had been running wild in the playland for two solid hours. L-Mac and Mac-Mom were both there and a nice visit was had.

Evening rounded out by some Guitar Hero with El Freddo. I played bass since, as we all know, bass players get all the chicks. heh.

Yes, I actually do golf, albeit poorly

Remember this one, El Jeffe?

This was at The Lake; can't remember which course. But isn't this the most idyllic golf pic?

******
Post script:

Quoth El Jeffe:

Yep! That is Sycamore Creek. Nice pic! Here's the link to the course:

http://www.golfingmissouri.com/courses/detail.php?id=14

Added resistance

Liv and I have water class at the same time-- she swims, I have aerobics. However, since she's the only child enrolled in the class, the time is reduced from the normal class length of 45 minutes to 30 minutes, essentially a private lesson. My class is still 45 minutes.

However, at the 30 minute mark, we've gotten down to crunches and other isolation exercises. Thus, I simply put her on my back for increased resistance. Voila.

She's pretty loud for a free weight, though.

A-Rod and Madonna? Who cares?

What's really important is that A-Rod's lawyer's name is Ira M. Elegant.

Yes, that's right, folks I.M. Elegant.

Oy.

A spot of good news

Two spots, actually.

1) Despite the occasional post-radiation redness, my onco-radiologist says my skin is NOT the type to burn in radiation! I may get a little sunburn, but compared to the bubbling, oozing burns some folks get, I'll take it;

2) I have officially lost another dress size. I still do not recommend this diet to others. Except maybe Lindsey Lohan. Or Paris Hilton. Whichever.

Last event of a fun, busy holiday weekend

A picnic at Des Peres park with the Z clan! Happily, there were fountains for the kiddos to splash in. We brought dessert, they brought pizza-- a grand time was had by all!

His Imperial Majesty, Cap'n Joe

On the throne in the Al Faw palace.

I know lots of guys send these photos home, but Joe looked so cute, I couldn't help but post it. But don't tell him I called him "cute;" he wouldn't like that. Oorah!

G.I. Jane?

Okay, El Jeffe, here's your hair progress shot for the day. Greg T says I'm up to a #1 rake in length, so at least I'm in the ballpark.

Busy weekend!

Today was the party for Alex's 6th birthday so we went to Castle T for the family gathering. We are, after all, family. It was BIG fun!

Auntie Stacey actually tried out her beer-drinking skills while on tons of cancer meds. Seemed to work out just fine, hot flashes notwithstanding. :-)

4th of July reupping in Iraq

As you may know, I am not a huge proponent of the war, but this is impressive. These were sent by Joe of a "reupping" ceremony in the Al Faw Palace in Iraq on Independence Day. That's the back of Gen. Petraeus' head in pic #2.

Happy 4th

It's been a nice day. We saw Wall-E this afternoon, I had a long nap, and then we went to fireworks in the park after BBQing. What else can you ask of Independence Day?

Kirkwood is like living in an episode of Leave it to Beaver sometimes. We walked with a throng past pretty houses mostly displaying the flag, as we did. Lawns were mowed. People were polite.

We passed the ice cream truck while walking to the park and bought Liv some ice cream. (In the first picture, below, El Freddo thinks Liv might be throwing a slider.)

The evening was slightly cool and clear and the stars were out. We stood for the National Anthem. We laid on a blanket in the grass and watched fireworks. Perfect.

In other news, I'm heartbroken to think it, but my Jim Edmonds, my favorite Cards fielder for years, returned home tonight in a Cubbies uniform.

That nothwithstanding, the exceedingly classy Cardinal Nation crowd gave him a standing O. I'm so proud.

Uh-oh

Dang. First sign of radiation burns showed up this evening. 13 down, 20 more treatments to go; keep your fingers crossed for me.