There are millions and millions of doctors and they all want my blood

Do you know, I actually tried to take a nap in my own home today? The audacity. Let me tell you, when you get cancer, you get mighty popular amongst the medical community.

I had calls from two separate researchers, a nurse, a doctor's office, a laboratory on behalf of an insurance company (I didn't entirely understand that, either), and probably a half-dozen other healthcare providers who will now probably be pissed because I didn't write down whatever they told me on the phone. I sure as heck don't remember everything everyone said to me today.

Boy am I ever glad el Freddo is going with me to chemo on Friday. I managed to write down what I had to bring with me when the nurse called me today, but damned if I think I'll actually remember any of the 800+ instructions it sounds like they'll be giving me when I get there.

I remember one researcher today said that on Friday I was to 1) go to the cancer center; 2) go to the lab; 3) see him at one of those places; 4) get a pregnancy test.

A WHAT?

He really failed to see the humor when I started giggling on the phone; me, the middle-aged mother of an adopted daughter. It's all right there in the paperwork in front of you. Hello?

I've noticed many healthcare types have a distinct humor deficit. No offense meant, of course. But either cancer entirely took away my "funny," or these guys are about as far from a laugh riot as you can get and still be in the same room with them.

So. Back to that poor researcher who told me I'd need a pregnancy test. Apparently, for his study, I had to also get a pelvic exam before I could be "randomized" into his study. I made an appointment while I was still in the cancer center with him so that he knew for sure when I was going. He then stressed repeatedly that I was to call him IMMEDIATELY when the pelvic was done until, finally, I inquired, "May I wait until my feet are out of the stirrups to call you?"

I thought the boy was going to pass out.

Anyhow, the plan is, I'm going to chemo on Friday, they're going to take LOTS of my blood for any number of nefarious purposes and replace it with poison, sedatives, and anti-nausea drugs.

Um. Hooray?